#dealing with our boys or ur virginity

[hoodzgyal]

PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU FOR MORE MOMMY KINK JASON 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Or even better….virgin mommy kink Jason. I just need more.

virgin!jason who cums in his boxers at the feeling of your ass grinding on top of his clothed dick deliciously, your teeth nipping at his neck. its the third date, and he’s wondering how he got this far; a pretty girl on his lap, in his apartment on a Thursday night. its your fingers that send him over the edge, worming their way into his shirt and using your acrylics to scratch at his abs and pecs before gently squeezing his nipples.

virgin!jason who loves giving head, so much so that he’ll overstim you if you let him. it took him a second or two to learn the mechanics, but since hes an expert in reading your body language, it took only a few tries to become a master at making you fall apart. he’s a menace, using his musculature to pry your legs open with a hungry glint in his green eyes. “i just want one more, mama,” he pouts, pressing wet kisses to inner thighs, “can’t i get one more from ya? please, mommy?”

virgin!jason who cannot shut the fuck up when his dick is inside you. you’re bouncing to your own rhythm, plush brown hips increasing in speed as you chase your our high. “yeah, mmff—yeah, yeah,” he whines, each word punctuating the smack of your ass onto his hips, “mmfffuck, take what you need, mama.” as he approaches his high, your speed grows faster and he bucks up into you, whining, “fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, baby… mmyeah, just like that, gonna make me fuckin’ cum.”

virgin!jason who cries when you give him head the first few times. its the one sexual act that you gain no pleasure from, so its a marvel to him that you’d be so happy to do it. He’d always start the same, saying “love, you know you don’t hav’ta— oh fuck, mommy,” he never lets you finish him off that way, always pulling you up before he reaches his peak. something or other about “gotta make you feel good too, mama.”

mmmyeah virgin!jason !!! so yummy !

[ts19009]

Seventeen Fic Rec's Part 3

(CONTAINS SMUT AND MATURE SUBJECT MATTER)

(Bold title means favorite)

(UPDATED: September 22nd, 2024)

OT13

seventeen as teachers @fairyhaos

seventeen as dads headcanons @bbyobbyo

Back to School with Seventeen (Seventeen TA Collab! Take a look at our Course Options collated by your favourite writers, taught by your favourite members!) @camandemstudios

Seventeen's reaction to you asking them for a baby @j0shuasw1fey

Tales from Camp Masterlist (Thirteen friends reconnect on a camping trip, reminiscing about their times as camp counselors when they were in college.) @kwanisms

✤ Losing It. (masterpost) ✤ (A series of having virginities given to you. Sometimes they throw said virginity at you with full force, other times, they lovingly hold your hand, bat their lashes, and say some of the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard a man say in regards to getting laid for the first time. ) @ncteez

Kim Mingyu

kmg x reader: healing comes in small doses masterlist (husband! dad! kim mingyu x afab! mom!reader) @tomodachiii

Food Wars pt. 1 (You and Mingyu are rival but friendly chefs competing for a spot to be an executive chef at a new location in Madrid. This position would change your life; no matter how attractive he is, you WILL get that spot) @beomcoups

Crossing the Finish Line (Winning is the only thing that matters, except if you're raising money for a charity event with an infuriatingly good-looking swimmer.) @mr-cha-n

Statistically Speaking... (TA! mingyu, fluff, smut [minors DNI], angst, statistics, ur honour they're stupid for one another, descriptions of stress exhaustion and burnout, academic burden, disagreements, mingyu is smart as hell, shitting on bad professors, smut but its a surprise) @gyuswhore

Always // oneshot (Sometimes, one man's burden is everything another man has ever wished for.) @spamgyu

When I Kissed the Teacher (science teacher mingyu, grammar teacher reader, meddling students, crushes, flirting, lots of candy and coffee) @highvern

Read All About It (Anonymous Life and Sex writer, Not Carrie Bradshaw, takes on a 30-day challenge with her boyfriend, Min. How wild fans would go to find out they're none other than Kim Mingyu and his girlfriend?) @highvern

Hot Wheels [M] (Co-Workers to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Smut 18+) @milfgyu

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖶𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖧𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖧𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 (fake marriage au!, fluff, angst, smut (18+ mdni) @wonustars

There's a snake in my pants (Crack/humour. Some fluff. Established relationship. Himbo Mingyu! [I love himbo Gyu]) @whipped-for-kpop-fics

Cross My Heart (Your crush Mingyu wants (to eat) you.) @minisugakoobies

Like A Cowboy Part 2 of 4 (Mingyu only needs to wake up with you once to decide he'll do whatever is necessary to do it every day; even if it means letting you help him outside and figuring out how to help you inside, it's worth it.) @sluttywoozi

Let our lips lock, baby (Friends to lovers smut. Fluff. They are in LOVE okay. Birthday boy Gyu <3) @whipped-for-kpop-fics

I can do it for you (After years dealing with everything alone, you stumble upon an old wishbook from your past. And you jokingly writes down your ideal boyfriend, Mingyu. To your surprise, Mingyu magically appears in your couch.) @hoshifighting

here and now. (secret!agent!mingyu x secret!agent!reader, established relationship) @writingmeraki

Jeon Wonwoo

into the night | jeon wonwoo (when you call wonwoo late at night telling him you're stranded, he drops everything to make his way to you (and bring you home safe)) @etherealyoungk

CLOSER (f2l!wonwoo, softdom!wonwo) @hannieehaee

HER | part six (m). (wonwoo, a heartbroken and burnt out writer nearing the end of his math degree, wants nothing to do with the seemingly perfect, intimidating girl who has everyone under her thumb. you. unfortunately, his literary talent has got him shoved him between a rock and a hard place when you want to write a book and require his expertise. you two are the furthest from compatible. wonwoo can’t see this going well. at all.) @chocosvt (HOLY SHIT, THIS SERIES HAD ME CRYING. SNAPS TO THIS AMAZING WRITER!)

𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 (though it didn’t bother wonwoo that his girl wasn’t a gamer like him, he was over the moon when one day she proudly declared she started gaming. one thing he forgot to ask - what kind of games she was playing.) @babyleostuff

knight in shining armor (non-idol! wonwoo x f!reader) @heartsfromia

endpoint (Senior year of college is meant to be full of celebration and smooth sailing. Years of work culminating in the final semesters that will send you off into the real world where clubs, sports, and weekends packed with hungover volunteering to pad your resume no longer mattered. It’d be a piece of cake if it wasn’t for your fuck buddy turned coworker having the same plan. But only one of you can get the department’s most coveted recommendation that all but guarantees your acceptance. Tension rises and the nearly four year thing you’ve had with Wonwoo approaches its endpoint.) @highvern

heads up! stardew. they r gaming. @nonranghaes

Cookies and Cream (academic rivals to lovers, smut, heart wrenching and tooth rotting fluff (wonwoo is down bad bad)) @seokgyuu

April Shower (Wonwoo meets a lot of people through his career as a travel photographer. Not one of them has ever made him want to stay in one place, until he met you.) @sluttywoozi

HEAVEN (wonwoo has a reputation for being distant, quiet and a bit mysterious. once you get to know him better, though, you come to find the sweet, shy boy underneath the surface.) @sanakiras

Patterns (Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is a pattern. So what does it mean when you find yourself in Wonwoo's bed over and over again?) @highvern

Daylight (between the endless flirty banter or secret looks of longing, the line between you and your boss had always been slightly blurred. But when a night out with friends has you and your boss meeting for the first time outside of the workplace, that line starts to become nonexistent as mutual feelings are brought to light.) @moonscriptsx

✦ sugar & spice (bodyguard!wonwoo x celebrity!reader) @etherealyoungk

Hong Jisoo

New in the Suburbs – New Neighboor! Joshua @hoshifighting

distracted (husband&dad!joshua, wife&mom!reader, established relationship) @eomayas

SUMMER KISSES (joshua coming home is a pleasant surprise) @arafilez

richhusband!joshua headcannons (just some headcons, but i'm obsessed with them) @number1mingyustan

still the one (5 years after your break up, Joshua tries his best to get your attention. May it be creating a new instagram to get you to notice him, making your brother (Seungkwan) secretly invite him to his birthday party, and his latest act: begging you on his knees in front of your door to get him back. He just never gives up!) @bratzkoo

city lights series | joshua hong (M) [ongoing] (rock singer joshua, neighbours with benefits) @hannieween

best friend’s brother (This had me crying ugly tears. its my fav) (imestep, romance, angsty angst, major feels abt having a crush, lots of flirting, smut, drama, happy tears.) @chocosvt

not according to plan | hjs (fake dating, strangers to friends to ?? | fluff, slight angst, smut) @the-boy-meets-evil

Expiration Date (2/2) (artist!joshua x model!fem!reader) @number1mingyustan

Birds of a Feather ( joshua hong x f reader) @onlymingyus

Timestamp! Aquamarine Au! @mysafehaneul

on second thought (where your roommate, wonwoo, has an interesting solution to all your bad dates. nothing can go wrong with two friends crossing a line, can it?) @the-boy-meets-evil

Yoon Jeonghan

BITE (idol!jeonghan x hybeidol!reader, f2l, meet-cute, very unrealistic schedules for idols lol, jeonghan is a menace, a lot of will they wont they, reader plays hard to get, afab reader, small age gap implied, one mention of the word oppa as a honorific (sorry</3), reader is mentioned to be international (no specific race, just not born in korea), smut, dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.) @hannieehaee

building blocks | yjh (agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.) @the-boy-meets-evil (OBSESSED WITH THESE TA SERIES)

"lovie" (all the ways jeonghan uses your nickname) @cherryredcheol

Titty-Shirt! (18+) (pervert!rollercoaster operator!jeonghan x bigtiddie!fem!reader) @beefboyandbabygirl

love café (while you’ve spent the last few months pretending the love café doesn’t exist, you realize you need its services now more than ever. this brings you face to face with jeonghan, the son of a luxury fashion designer who’s got money to burn. your exchanges are strictly business. until they’re not) @chocosvt

five ways to say "i love you" - jeonghan (how jeonghan shows his love to you, through all five love languages) @p0ckykiss

Xu Minghao

Meet Me In Amsterdam (Artist!Minghao x Artist!Fem!Reader) @okiedokrie

GOODNIGHT N GO (idol!minghao x hybeidol!reader) @hannieehaee

To all the love letters I wrote but never sent (fluff, best friends to lovers) @welcometomyoasis

Birthday Gift l Xu Minghao (It's your birthday and Minghao wants to give you your present!) @jenoslutie

Lee Seokmin

through a different lens — l.sm (meet cute, strangers to something) @miniseokminnies

after dessert (just pure smut lol, but it was good XD) @xurengu0

behind the stands (Seokmin, Gryffindor's star chaser, is widely known as your rival. What everyone doesn't know is that before every game, his lips are always on yours.) @xurengu0

Beautiful Liar (mafia au, dark romance? angst, smut.) @starlightx

Epistolary Yearning (epistolary form, historical fantasy, romance | smut) @himbocoups

Nice Guys Finish First (After a first date with the sweetest man you've ever met, thanks to a mutual friend, you're more than willing to silence his doubts and show him how sexy he was to you.) @celestiababie

midnight rain | lsm (after seven years away, you finally return home. meeting seokmin again wasn't in your plans, but life wasn't willing to let you have it your way.) @wongyuuu

[lovelyhan]

kai pls “you sound pretty hot when you shut up.” + cheol im begging

also ily <3 hope ur doing well and taking care of urself <333

SAR BELOVED! sorry it took me a while to get to this </3 but hehe here's some cheol filth to start ur day right 😼😼😼

⟣ "you sound pretty hot when you shut up" ⟢ wc: 0.8k words minors do not interact!

One would think that the two presidents of the oldest fraternity and sorority on campus would get along swimmingly. Not only are the two organizations officially affiliated with one another, but most of the time, their members are either really good friends or dating slash fucking each other on the side.

So yes, it was perfectly logical to assume that you and Choi Seungcheol would fall into either of those categories.

Except you don't.

"Didn't I tell you to stop loitering around our property?"

"Your sorority is literally a sister organization to our frat. This is technically our property too, so what's your deal, ice princess?"

"My deal is that I can't fucking study when you're bringing all these stupid frat boys into our hangout! Don't you all have somewhere else to be?"

"Now why are you even studying at your goddamn hangout spot? You're supposed to hang out here, genius."

As Seungcheol bickers with you, the infamous Zeta Tau Alpha president, the 'stupid frat boys' he brought over to your sorority hangout spot all sigh in unison.

"There they go again," Mingyu comments with a laugh. "If I didn't know better, I'd think this is all for show and they're secretly screwing each other."

"That's, like, fanfiction levels of ridiculousness, dude," Seokmin comments. "They don't hate each other in a 'we-secretly-fuck-like-rabbits' kind of way. They just...hate each other. Period."

Soonyoung hums on the side while sipping on a box of juice. "Hmm... But don't you think they're being a little too theatric with their arguments lately? Remember when she splashed water all over Cheol at the cafeteria yesterday?"

"I don't know about that, Soonie," comments one of your sisters, Sana, who shakes her head. "Our lovely president over there is a sweetheart, but when you've done something to piss her off, she'll remember it until she dies."

Mingyu perks up with curiosity. "So you're saying that Cheol did something unforgivable? Is that why she hates him so much?"

Sana can only offer them a nonchalant shrug.

"No clue."

Unbeknownst to your members, Seungcheol has done something unforgivable to you in the past.

"I can't fucking believe you're still hung up on the first time we fucked," Seungcheol rasps as his fingers dig into your thighs. "It was just a one-night stand at the time. Why are you so pissed off?"

Though you want nothing more than to glare at him, the sensation of his thick cock ramming into you does unfairly well in derailing your train of thought. Still, your perpetual irritation with him breaks through the surface.

"How many times do I have to tell you that that was my first time!" You bite back, stifling a moan when Seungcheol presses your face against the cold metal of the lockers. "You can't just take a girl's virginity and leave her all alone in the morning! Doesn't your frat have a code of chivalry or something?"

Seungcheol lets out an irritated noise before lifting up one of your thighs—hooking it across his elbow so he gets to fuck into you deeper. The angle has the leg still planted on the floor quivering with pleasure but your pride won't allow yourself to fall apart so easily.

"Ice princess doesn't like it when her favorite boy toy can't be tied down? I came back to you anyways, didn't I? Again and again—ruining this pretty pussy for anyone else."

When you feel his breath against the shell of your ear, your walls clamp around his pulsating cock almost embarrassingly tight.

"And I'll keep fucking you until that ice cold heart of yours finally melts."

You don't offer up any more complaints—completely and utterly submissive as Seungcheol rails you against the lockers none-too-discreetly. He's rougher than usual, and it wouldn't surprise you if any of his teammates finally found out about this dirty little secret you've been keeping under wraps.

You're fucking addicted to him. His cock squelches with a lewd sound each time he fucks into you, orchestrating a perfectly timed orgasm that has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

Not a single noise comes out of your mouth once it crests—mouth agape in a quiet scream as you topple over the edge. Your hips absentmindedly meet the cadence of Seungcheol's practiced strokes as you ride out your high, and he only stops when his cock paints your insides with the white hot mess of his cum.

"You sound pretty hot when you shut up."

He dishes out the backhanded compliment when you're fixing the collar of your shirt—mind thankfully far enough from that sexual subspace to rightfully scoff at him.

"Don't let it get to your head," you say, already halfway to the doors of the locker room. "I just didn't want anyone else finding out that we're fucking inside a public space."

Seungcheol chuckles. "Now don't act like you're not down to do it again twice as loud the next time I ask you to."

You don't entertain him with a response. Instead, you let the heavy doors slam behind you in an illusion of autonomy. Of course you wouldn't agree to fuck that insufferable frat president in another risky place.

Even if his cum staining your panties says otherwise.

[luvdive]

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ* wanted connections *･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ✧

some of these are romantic, some are platonic, some could go either way. if you’re interested in any of them, give this post a little like & i’ll come ask you about it!! the ones with a little ✨ next to them are the ones i’m most interested in!!

woo wonjae ✨

i don’t have as much to write for this one lmao. from the age of 16 to 22, wonjae was an illegal underground fighter who people only ever knew as 'boy' because he wouldn't tell anyone his name. he's a loved up househusband now but i want to do more stuff from when he was a street fighter !!!

woo nawon

again now much to say on this one lmao she's interning at her dad's entertainment company i just want her to have industry friends

kim chaerim

hi can i get a boyfriend for chaerim that’s just as directionless as she is?? bonus points if he’s a musician like her & they can just have cliché jam sessions together. alternate plot, because she’s a stubborn Indie Chick™ can i get a bf for her that’s the ceo of an entertainment company or something?? someone that’s linked to the music industry but in a way that she wouldn’t jump at the chance to get a record deal u know??

jung seri ✨

seri is a full time nanny stuck in a relationship with a man that doesn't appreciate her. pspsps a single dad who needs a nanny? cue them flirting with each other (intentionally or unintentionally) until seri realises actually maybe he treats her better than her bf does

sasha shepard

mass effect. mass effect!! mass effect!!! mass effect canons, mass effect ocs, other shepards, aliens with no affiliation to the mass effect universe i don’t fucking care i just love mass effect & i want to do things with sasha already

yi wonju

tw death wonju is a pansori singer first and a witch second!! her husband was her gosu but he died </3 and now she's in need of a new one. must be okay with killing people but living forever as a result xoxo

sadie hwang

tw death lowkey based on you've reached sam & some story i saw on r/nosleep once. sadie's boyfriend died in a car accident & now every friday he calls her and she tries to save him. maybe your muse is one of her friends and is worried about her, maybe they're a new love interest, maybe if we plot it out really well they're her dead boyfriend???

kim eunji

get eunji a boyfriend 2k24 that's all

nam sangchul ✨

tw super junior fc sangchul’s former members!! tl;dr sangchul was the maknae of a boy group called attention when he was 18 until he got into a car accident & after a year of being unhappy he decided to leave the group. it’s been sixteen years & he’s managed to find something that works for him but!!! please god imagine threads w/ him & the rest of attention!! we can decide how successful they were or weren’t, whether they’re still together now or whether they disbanded, all that fun stuff

bong sungmin

ahem celebrity friends with benefits plot?? except maybe your muse catches feelings & sungmin doesn’t know how to deal with that because maybe he’s catching feelings too & trying to pretend he isn’t 🤧

shin raewon pt.1

i’m just a big old sucker for regular customer plots so like?? a girl ( or maybe a guy u know, try and catch him off guard ) that’s been coming to the cafe since it opened & knows all the staff and is just super nice & non-creepy and yeah that’s all i got man

shin raewon pt.2

raewon works at a yaoi cafe and i want coworkers for him that’s it that’s the connection. give him work pals to hang out with away from the cafe, work pals to bitch about weird customers with & gossip about customers they think are Hot™ ( except don’t let his gf find out about that bit lmao ) 

park seunghyun ✨

if you’ve seen cherry magic that’s a bonus but the tl;dr is u get magic powers if ur still a virgin by the time u turn 30. enter seunghyun, our 30 year old virgin. once again the opportunities are plentiful. nosy colleagues, overbearing family members, someone to deflower him, take your pick

aloïs fournier ✨

god how does anyone not know what’s coming for this one i have posted about it 9000 times ever since this stupid cb was announced. A SET OF CONNECTED TBZ MUSES BASED ON THE CONCEPT FOR THE STEALER BUT INSTEAD OF THIS STEALING HEARTS PUSSY SHIT THEY’RE JUST REGULAR CAREER CRIMINALS!!! aloïs is ur resident diamond thief & he’s ready 2 be in a criminal gang

bae seolwoo

tw super junior fc he's divorced! he's a high functioning alcoholic! he's a deadbeat dad! he's the perfect candidate for a university student with terrible taste in men! to talk in fanfic/booktok terms, a sappy grumpy/sunshine cliche. it doesn't have to be a university student (he's a lecturer, that's bad!) but no one in their 30s is going to tolerate him if we're being honest

kwon sanggyun ✨

sanggyun hunts monsters with his besties but only because his main bestie is super hot & sanggyun's in love with him. except seungmin (the bff) has a boyfriend or whatever ugh. what if a cunning shapeshifter pretended to be seungmin & sanggyun was none the wiser???

[zoeykallus]

Okay okay, first of all I love all of your works! every time i see a notification it makes my day better ((;

English is not my first language sooo im very sorry!

Okay but how about afab!reader is in a relationship with crosshair, it's pretty serious and she gets to meet the other batchers. There's a lot of teasing and yk just brother's being brother's but suddenly one of them let's something slip (something like.. "crosshairs is finally not a Virgin anymore") (usually reader and him are really flirty and crosshair is kinda like 'u couldn't handle me' and all this stuff) so reader finds out that he's a Virgin and confronts him, back at her place or smt.

Sooooooooo, they Start to make out and nfsw stuff happens but the reader is in Charge (hehe) crosshair actually likes it and the next morning he is greeted with a blowjob and is so snarky (but a whining/moaning mess) that the reader overstimulates him and continues until he cums two times and he's just completely blissed out.

Im a sucker for dominant Readers & bottom 'bitches' haha but clones are just *Chefs kiss*

If you consider to write this, take as much time as you need and don't feel pressured at all because I really hope u have a great day and that ur fine!

Lots of love!

😳

That is a lot of text! Give me a second 😂 Aloha! Thank you so much, always very pleased to read such things! English is not my first language either! So no worries, I know the struggle. You are doing pretty good as much as I can tell, probably better than me 😂 Hehehe, I love the thought of Crosshair's sass kinda backfiring on him 😂 I don't think experienced Cross is a "bottom bitch" but I can clearly see him being one in his first attempts at intimacy. And the thickhead is definitely too stubborn and proud to use the safeword.

Let's do this!

Crosshair x afab!Reader Two-shot 1/2 - Think You Can Handle Me?

Warnings: 18+ / SMUT / Dom Reader / Sub Crosshair / Inexperienced (yet sassy) Crosshair / Suggestive / Sexual Themes / Overstimulation / Edging / Alcohol

It's quite late in the evening when you return from your date with Crosshair. But the boys are still awake when you reach the Marauder. They are sitting outside, a few of them drinking corellian ale. The mood is boisterous and slightly drunk. Hunter has been blowing off a lot of steam tonight and comes to meet you slightly tipsy. He puts an arm around Crosshair's shoulders, who frowns in annoyance.

"Look at that. You guys are coming back late from your date. I guess that means our little brother isn't a virgin anymore," Hunter rumbles, swinging his bottle through the air and spilling a few drops.

You look at the two of them in surprise. Crosshair has always acted like he was a true pro in the sheets, that he didn't think you were up for the challenge. His excuse that he wants to take it slow now makes sense.

Crosshair's teeth are clenched as the words, "Shut up you idiot" come out.

Hunter looks from one to the other in wonder, then a light goes on, "You didn't tell her? Oh, let me guess, you've got the 'I'm too much for you sweetie, let's take things slow' routine going on?"

Crosshair's look is almost desperate, and he pulls himself together with difficulty.

"You're drunk and full of shit," he finally growls, tearing himself away from Hunter and retreating, though not into the Marauder, but past it into the fields behind the landing pad.

Wrecker frowns, "It's no big deal, right?"

Echo looks at him and says quietly, "It is for some men."

Tech adjusts his goggles and says matter-of-factly, "Crosshair is one of those men"

You finally follow him when he is not back after half an hour. You intentionally gave him some time to cool down and collect himself, and did not press him immediately.

He is, as you expected, behind the fields, between some trees, in a clearing where he often stays to train and contemplate. When he hears your footsteps, he looks up with his eyes narrowed critically.

"Get lost," he grumbles.

"Hey," you say indignantly, though gently, "I didn't lie or tell your secret. I'm probably the least to blame for this whole situation."

He sighs, nods, and says barely louder than a whisper, "Sorry."

He put down his rifle and looks at you.

"You know you don't have to do anything you don't want to do? Just because I know about it now, I don't think any less of you. We don't have to rush into anything," you say calmly.

You can see his jaw muscles move as he grinds his teeth.

"I know, but now that the cat's out of the bag, there's no reason for me to drag this out either. I want you, definitely, I've just been blocked by the thought that I didn't want you to notice that I have no experience."

He looks around and says meaningfully, "We are alone here, no one can see us."

You smirk and begin to undress. For a moment, he forgets everything he just thought about and just watches you, fascinated. Crosshair watches one garment after another fall and feels it getting tight behind his codpiece. Lost in stimulating thoughts and the sight of you, he automatically removes the codpiece and lets it fall to the floor.

You can see the bulge in his blacks' pants. When you are finally naked, you step closer to him and your hand slides over the bulge, caressing his hard length over the fabric. A soft sigh passes his lips.

You push him back, against a bench under a tree. When he feels the wood in the back of his knees, he automatically sits down, and you slide onto his lap, facing him. Your lips find his in a fiery kiss, his arms automatically wrapping around your naked body.

He can't quite grasp what's happening as he feels your fingers slip under the waistband of his blacks' pants and pull them down a bit, far enough to free his hard, cock. As you begin to rub your naked pubic against it, he moans into the kiss and his fingers grip tighter.

Crosshair can feel your soft, wet flower pressing against his shaft, and just the thought makes his heart start to race, and he gets all hot.

"You can always tell me when to stop," you tell him as your lips break away from his for a moment.

"I'm sure that won't happen," he returns and presses his lips to yours again, chasing your tongue with his.

After a while, though, he grabs your hips and stops you in your tracks.

"If you keep rubbing against me like that, this won't last very long for me. Why don't you show me something to satisfy you with before we really get started?"

"Very thoughtful of you," you say with a smile.

You get off his lap, and he watches you intently. You sit down next to him and point to the floor in front of you. He complies with the wordless request, kneeling on the floor in front of you, between your open thighs. His gaze wanders from your face to the wet flower between your thighs. He has never seen a pussy so close and real.

Crosshair's hands automatically rest on your thighs. He finally looks up at you again, expectantly. You start explaining to him where the clitoris is, what its function is, where the actual opening to your pubic is and what can be done to stimulate different spots.

Crosshair caresses the insides of your thighs, gently sliding his fingers through your folds, and smiles contentedly as he hears you sigh softly. With two fingertips, he gathers some of your arousal at your entrance and begins to gently massage your clit with it.

Your eyes fall closed, and you lay your head back in your neck.

"Does that feel good?"

"Yes, very good"

Curious, he adds his other hand, two fingertips playing at your entrance, first massaging the outer sensitive area. Your excitement drips over his fingers and he looks fascinated, exactly what he is doing with you.

Slowly he inserts one finger while the fingers of his other hand are still massaging your clit. He's fascinated by the way your soft, wet heat closes around his finger. It feels so tight, he wonders how his cock will fit in there.

"It's adjusting," you say as if you've read his mind, "Slide a second finger in."

He hesitates for a brief moment, but then does as he's told. Your moan makes him look up, by now his hand was all wet and the wood beneath you stained from your arousal. When you suddenly make a hoarse noise and he feels your pussy tighten around his fingers, he almost pulls back, startled. But he quickly realizes that you are having a climax and continues to work you until you are trembling and twitching, begging him to stop.

He withdraws his fingers, looks at them for a brief moment, then licks your juice from his fingers. An unexpected, somewhat strange taste, but quite interesting, he thinks.

"Was that good?"

You nod and say somewhat breathlessly, "Yes, that was good, Cross. Now I can take care of you without you having to worry about whether or not it's enough for my orgasm, because basically you've already satisfied me.

"You can only do that once?"

" When it comes to women, no. It's quite possible several times. But now shut up and get back on the bench, we'll tackle that another time."

Crosshair complies again, sits down on the bench and you see the tip of his cock swollen and some precum shining on it. He can't wait to feel you.

As you climb back over his lap, he looks at you expectantly. Then he feels your hand on his shaft, in expectant tension, he holds very still. The next moment, his tip bumps your gate and as you slowly sink onto his lap, he feels the wet heat of your pussy, slowly enclosing his cock as he advances deeper and deeper into you.

He moans and his hands shoot to your rear, clawing into the soft flesh. As you sit fully on his lap and he bottoms out in you, he releases a shaky breath from his lungs. The feeling is overwhelmingly glorious. It feels perfect,

He literally clings to you as you begin to bob up and down on his lap. The feeling is so intense, new and overwhelming that he feels like he has to hold on to you to keep from being swept away by the feeling. It's fantastic but also intense in a almost scary way.

"Mesh'la," he presses out, his face pressed against your shoulder.

You feel his lap, his thighs trembling tensely beneath you. He gasps and trembles as he suddenly seems to hold his breath, you feel his cock pulsing inside you, his seed spurting into you like a fountain.

Finally he releases the air from his lungs and you pause on his lap. He is still trembling ever so slightly, the tension only slowly draining from his muscles. His arms are still wrapped around you, his fingers clawed at you. Very slowly, he loosens his grip and his embrace. He kisses your shoulder almost shyly before looking into your face.

His hair is a little messy and sweat is on his forehead.

"So?" you ask "How are you feeling?"

He grins at you, leaning back on the bench and resuming his usual posture.

"Can't complain, Kitten"

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@puppetswithteeth

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

[webslingingslasher]

“hey, i might not wait til marriage but you are and that's fucking cool”🥹🥹🥹 this is so cute and made me feel so good AHHH <3

okay I need to SPILL.

first I wanna say i know this isn’t a big deal and when I eventually talk to him about it, he’ll be reassuring but I’m freaking out first and i wanna talk to the girlies first instead, but I do feel like I can tell him (bc if u can’t talk ab these things w someone, you shouldn’t have sex w them in the first place)

but bro I am FREAKING out HDNDNDND. we’ve been looking at rings. he hasn’t proposed because he said he still wants me to be surprised and stuff but we got carried away talking one night and he let it slip that he wants to marry me and somehow we started looking at rings. we went to a couple shops just to get general ideas bc I have no idea what I want!!

ANYWAYS. I was super excited and I had a full blown freak out earlier😀 I’ve been waiting til marriage my whole life (I’m 23) but he hasn’t, he had multiple sexual partners in high school and college and a couple before he met me. I was just thinking ab our future wedding night bc it’s getting super real now and I don’t think it’ll be that far in the future and I was like omfg. this whole wait and it’ll be over in one night. like “that’s so exciting, FINALLY” type thing bc the wait has been hard😭 I’m just a girl and he’s soodkdjdkskskksskso sexy😭

and then I was like…. It’s all over in one night

and I was like, wait. I’m a virgin virgin. he isn’t. even just fingering/head (which I literally cannot WAIT for😭) is gonna be new bc I’ve never had another guys fingers in me and whatever. and I’m not nervous at all, I’m so excited, I’ve waited so long as u can imagine JDJDKDK but I was like realistically, it’ll probably be overwhelming. and then ur meant to do everything in one go? even in most ‘normal’ relationships where people aren’t waiting till marriage, you don’t usually go from 0-100 in a single night😭 that’s kinda insane. like ‘oh you’ve only kissed a boy? well here is literally everything under the sun!”

and I think I just realised today, for the first time, that maybe that wont realistically be what I want. like doing some things and then the rest after. like we’re gonna be married forever (that’s the plan😭) so we have all this time to go it yk. not that I’d necessarily wanna wait super long after we’re married, but I just feel kinda… bad. like, he’s waited this whole time, just for me. imagine we get married and he’s super excited to finally get to hit and in like “actually……..🤣”

idk. I just feel a little alone because even the religious/non-religious ppl I know (who decided to wait just because), none of them felt this way. they were so ready to just jump in and start boning (as they should bc the wait hasn’t been easy😭) but idk I feel… idk. I feel like that might not be me, like I feel like I might need a little more time just to get used to like, everything in reality yk. bc it’s all fun and games saying it rn but I realised earlier, when I started really thinking about it, that I haven’t done anything and realistically, even ppl that don’t wsit need more time yk.

he obviously won’t make me feel bad for this either, he’s not a monster & he’s very understanding but I’m just spiralling.

this might not even be a problem, realistically the second we’re married I might not even make it to the after party and just be like “dick in me now pls” but… ifkdjdjddjdjw

I’m thinking too much lol. I’ve waited 23 years and it’s so real now that my mind is spinning. I’m sorry for the ramble but thank u for listening & for the girlie talk JDJDJDX💗💗💗💗💗💗 i love u so much

(I am sooo ready to get married tho😭💗)

i am so happy for you both!!! i really wish you the best of luck!

i think him being experianced will help out so much in the long run, but girl, there's nothing to worry about! if he's waited this long, what's a little more? like you said, you may change your mind but you said you wanted to wait until marriage. so i'm with you, why does it have to be your wedding night?

it sounds like he's going at your pace and he's in no rush to bed you either. you already know you're gonna talk to him about this so kudos! and coming from me, it sounds like you're ready for sex and that's awesome.

you're excited and that's the most important. (after loving and trusting your man.) trust me, it'll be worth the wait and i can't wait to hear about the proposal!

[sunflowerhae]

-> you’re mesmerized ✉

-> love! triangle (Jeno, Renjun, OC)

-> ♡ ☾ ✓

playlist• heather, conan gray/Something, The Beatles/ flowers in december, Mazzy Star/ A BOY IS A GUN*, Tyler the Creator/ love again, nct dream/ soft universe, AURORA/ butterflies, kacy musgraves•

──────── ❝ 𝐬��𝐚𝐫𝐭 ❞

•December 3rd plays in your mind as u and Jeno stand by his locker on the first day back to school from winter break.

•although it was a month ago, u still remember it like it was yesterday

•u and Jeno had gone to the fair in your town

•the last one of the year. They called it the winter festival

•basic

•but ur friend group had a tradition of going together.

•everything was going fine, until you and Jeno had broken off from the group to look at the phat christmas tree.

•you had forgotten a sweater, and Jeno was more than willing to give u his, along w one of his famous eye smiles

•u swore up and down (In ur own head) that that was the day you knew you liked (loved) him

•Jeno couldn’t stop staring at you in it. And when u turned to him, all he said was

•”it looks even better on you than me.”

•and then he kissed u

•yeah

•so this is love

•you thought something would happen when you went back to school that Monday.

•but nothing came. Just Jeno refusing to meet ur eyes

•or talk to u://

•Jaemin said it was because he was scared and that you just needed to be patient

•u accepted it, and waited for the day he kissed u once more

•by Christmas break, y’all were back to being best buds™️

•and you thought maybe when Y’all returned for school, he would have worked up enough nerve to seal the deal w you

•but on that first day back

•in front of his locker

•Jeno locked eyes on the new girl, heather, for the first time

•the way he looked was absolutely beautiful.

•he had wide, open eyes

•and he couldn’t stop staring at her as she walked by and Laughed at something her tour guide said to her.

•yeah, he looked absolutely mesmerized

•but it wasn’t directed at you

•and you knew you lost him

•by lunch, heather was in your group

•turns out Jeno had history with her. And he wasn’t as “scared” as Jaemin said he was at making moves

•all the boys loved her, and while you really wanted to hate her

•u couldn’t deny that she was an absolute angel

•she had an eye smile, like Jeno

•and dimples

•and long, beautiful eyelashes

•and a beautiful laugh

•and she could keep up w haechans jokes, and chenji so easily called her noona, something they never did w you

•Jaemin tried flirting w her, but Jeno looked so protective over her, that Jaemin turned to you and shrugged while wrapping his arm around u

•u wanted to throw up when heather politely asked u and Jaemin how long u had been together

•and Jaemin threw his arm off u, and made gagging noises while the rest of the table laughed

•heather got red, and mumbled an apology to you while bowing.

•You wanted to hate her, you wanted to yell at her. But then, ppl would know that you liked Jeno. Jeno would know. And that was too embarrassing

•so you smiled at her, laughed, and shook your head while holding up a hand

•”Jaemin and me? Please, I’d rather die a lonely virgin with 50 cats”

•Heather laughed, and scooted closer to you, and said “it’ll be so nice to have a girl friend!”

•yes, u wanted to throw up.

•but u just wrapped your arm around her, like Jaemin did to u

•and reassured her that you two were already getting married, while she laughed

•over the course of the next two weeks, she spent more and more time with ur group

•and in three weeks, it was no longer just you and jeno by his locker every morning, but you, Jeno, and heather

•you and her were talking about how terrible the lunch food was

•when Jeno came up, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder Before giving her a kiss on her forehead, to which she blushed furiously for

•your mind went back to four nights ago, when heather scream texted u (“JSNSISHEVRB”) that Jeno had drove over to her house with milkshakes, took her to a park, and asked her to be his gf

•u cried all night, four nights ago

•after he says hello to u, y’all three talk for a while before the bell rings.

•Jeno and heather start walking towards class, talking about some random thing, while u walk slower in the back, basic third wheel style

•you couldn’t stop staring at their interlocked hands.

•u felt bad. Because heather had easily become ur best girl friend

•but u loved her boyfriend

•and u lowkey wanted her to die

•:/

•u felt like this wasn’t fair.

•u had known Jeno far longer than she did

•why did she get him?

•your thoughts silently went on like this for three more months after this incident.

•May 1st.

•every 1st, your group developed a routine of going to this cafe, just down the street from haechans house

•you would all order milkshakes and fries and sometimes burgers or onion rings

•and you would all just have a good time

•you were feeling a lil down today

•heather had told u that her and Jeno kissed for the first time, and said they loved each other

•to make literally all matters worse, she was wearing the sweater Jeno had let u wear, all those months ago

•the pain in ur heart had numbed. It didn’t hurt so bad anymore everytime you saw them w interlocked hands, or w his arm around her, like now, where they sat across from you in the half circle booth.

•you couldn’t stop looking as ur usual waiter, Jane, came up.

•”hey y’all, I hope you don’t mind, but we have a new worker that needs training, and since y’all are so sweet, I figured he could practice on you? Is that okay?” Her sweet southern bell accent made it hard to say no, not that your group of friends would anyway.

•u actually knew Jane quite well. She was in ur grade, and sat next to you in art.

•u loved her honestly

•u also loved how the blush on Haechan’s face increased, and he couldn’t look up to meet the sweet red heads eyes, which were actively looking at the young boy

•ah, young love

•u made a mental note to talk Haechan up to her tomorrow in art (which you texted Haechan under the table, and he looked up at u in surprise with a smile on his face)

•when u looked away from Haechan, up to the new waiter standing in front of you with a shaky voice and nervous eye

•u felt like the air was sucked out of u

•oh my God that’s the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen

•you knew u looked mesmerized

•wide eyes, open mouth

•u looked like jeno, three months ago

•jeno saw this

•he didn’t say anything, but he saw it

•tbh, jeno did like u on december 3rd

•and he was going to tell u he liked u on the first day back, after break

•but heather was,,

•amazing

•the one thing he ever needed

•his soulmate, he thinks

•that didn’t mean he still didn’t care for u

•but when u so willingly befriended heather, he thought u were okay

•so he never questioned it

•but the way you looked at the waiter,,

•he thought you looked mesmerizing

•so he was going to help u, bc u deserved it

•when the waiter got around the table and finally turned to you to ask for ur drink, he locked eyes on u and

•my man dropped his pencil pad

•he got so red, and went to pick it up, but halted when you started giggling at him

•he sent a smile ur way, then went to reach to get the pad

•renjun had liked u since freshman year

•he hated biology, but ur beautiful smile and the way you threw your head back when you laughed made it waayyyy more bearable

•he had never talked to you, and barely saw you when sophomore year came around

•but that didn’t mean he didn’t think abt u

•u were literally always on his mind

•he was so excited for Advanced Art 3 this year

•he had heard there was a lot of portrait drawings

•and he had gotten marked down before for drawing you for assignments when he wasn’t supposed to (not by much doe because they were THAT good)

•so he was excited to freely be able to draw u

•but bruh when he walked in and u were

•THERE

•ugh he was sad

•not that sad tho bc

•u were THERE

•he saw u a lot with the only other girl in ur friend group, so he felt too embarrassed to say hi

•but he promises his bsf, mark, that he would have if u were alone,,,

•all the damn time

•(mark don’t believe him doe, i agree)

•he had never looked directly into ur eyes

•which is why everytime he drew u, he felt like the eyes were wrong

•so wrong

•but he couldn’t place what it was

•but having u look into his eyes now

•my god he was so excited to go home and draw u

•but u,,,u were not excited

•bc wtf just happened

•u,,at the time,,didn’t know u had just met the loyl

•bc u had only ever really liked jeno before

•u decided to push that shit D O W N

•but jeno

•he was like “nah”

•he had said that he wanted to pay, and before anyone could argue (k like anyone would argue) he grabbed the bill and shuffled heather out of the seat so he could get out

•he grabbed her hand and walked towards the cash register, where jane was standing

•when u saw them holding hands it,,weirdly didn’t bother u

•all u could think abt was that beautiful waiters smile

•jeno and heather walked up to jane nd were like

•”jane, 🅱️ls get our waiter, we have to play cupid.”

•renjun: comes out from the kitchen

•jeno: “y/n, the girl sitting over there? yeah, this is her number”

•jeno: slides over the bill, w ur # written on it (he put it in the section that said “Tip_______” bc he thought he was funny. like, ur tip is a whole ass gf)

•renjun: blush

•jeno: “just tell her who u are bc she doesn’t know we’re doing this but we can tell y’all like each other uwu”

•renjun: huh *sweat*

•jeno: “mkay byeyeeeee”

•renjun indeed did text u that night

•after texting mark first (“JAJSNSNDBSBDBD BRUH GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED” “new phone who dis” “MARK DIS IS SERIOUS DIENDJAJSB”)

•and mark coached him through what to say

•so naturally, renjun looked like a fucking idiot

•but u thought it was cute uwu

•and u were sharpening ur ax to literally murder jeno uwu ❤️✨🌙😌

•when renjun asked u if u wanted to go on a date uwu

•and u were like “ummmm yeth”

•u agreed y’all would over the weekend

•but yet

•when u walked into art the next day and bumped into a rando

•and looked up

•and you and renjun locked eyes

•u had a feeling y’all would be hanging out sooner than the weekend

•the thought had u smiling wide while you said hello

fin.

──────── ❝ end ❞

[maybeapizzatrophy]

Crazy Ex Girlfriend Season 4, the last season

Theme- Meet Rebecca! Sort of a recap,that changed every episode in even weirder meta ways 

Honestly I hated it at first but it grew on me. 

I kind of started looking forward to what dumb thing other Rebecca would say

My favorites  “I think I’m a fork. Uh-oh,”

 “Don’t Look. I’m behind you,”

“Asparagus is my enemy.” me too girl

Not the best, but not the worst theme. moving on!

1) Don’t be a Lawyer One of the best damn songs of the series

Stand back and listen to my tale of woe. This song is so upbeat, fun and informative! I love the bel biv devoe bright suits and the high energy dancing. The rhymes and references are on point, and topical. There are so many other professions that doesn't turn you into Jeff Sessions. Then they took it over the top with the guy giving a disclaimer deciding to jump out a window.

2) Anti-depressants Are So Not a Big Deal

So I did not love the song my diagnosis. over time it has gotten better for me but never got into it the way I did for Anti-Depressants. I love the colors, the dancing,the tap, the jokes, the lala land references.  Its so smart and quick witted.I especially love the live version from the final episode

3) I hate everything but you

Great song. It really showcases Skylar’s skills. . You can feel his intensity when he glares at those blueberries and talks about more things he hates. Don’t get him in a room with banana bunches. he will rip them apart!

It is so greg that he has a guitar but can’t actually play it (I’m sure he could if he wanted too.”) look at the disgust on his face when people stop and smell the flowers. you do that and then your face is full of pollen. NEXT! I need more examples

Can someone come up with-

4)  I'm not sad you're sad

So this was originally much lower on this list until the season finale of the magicians, every episode of Jane the Virgin this season and some unfortunate personal stuff. So I keep coming back to this song and screaming the refrain in between tears. I love the whole bathroom scene. its perfection.

5) Love’s Not a Game

whats better then David Hull finally getting to sing? David Hull singing a guys and Dolls type song. Its a great group number, where everyone gets to shine. Shout out to Father Brah, who just spoke to Jesus (who says its cool). The detail is exceptional. they actually have a death pool. Poor Josh is probably going to die in a lot of repair related accidents

or parasailing accident. he should avoid that.

6) no one else is singing my song

whenever you feel alone, and think no one can relate to you, just know you are not alone. Great number, nice harmonies, great ensemble.

7)Hello, Nice to meet you

Its a sweet song about starting over, in various meet cute situations. Their history is so complicated, and they have grown so much in the last 2 years. It was adorable and sad.

8) Trapped In A Car With Someone You Don't Want To Be Trapped In A Car With

So anyone who has been in a long car ride with someone who is super annoying can relate to this. You can love your friends, but you don’t always get along with them.love the beach boys homage.

9) the darkness

Its a love song about the highs and lows of depression For Rebecca, the depression is personified into a person. “His love for me is pure...He’s handsome for a metaphor And his name is … Tyler“

10) Slow motion + Reprise 

Slay! Whenever you walk into a room and feel like a bad ass, don’t lie, you imagine yourself in slow motion.The song is funny, catchy and there’s a reprise!

did they resize the suits from Don’t be a lawyer for this song? 

11!)  Eleven O’Clock

Kinda had to add this song. its a nice call back to a lot of the songs from the show. It does a great job illustrating how much Rebecca has grown and changed by working on herself and her own mental health. 

honorable mention

cat song(s)? but which one?

maybe not

our twisted fate

I’m a sucker for a good Simon and Garfunkel parody.They harmonize well but its such a weird song.

Best worst: our group mind has decided you’re in love

Everyone ships White Josh and Darryl except the actual couple. Solid dancing pretty good parody or Oklahoma. We all like the reprise better (love is not a game.)

Thank you Rachel Bloom and co for all the great songs and entertainment over the years. Thank you for talking about mental health, self love and personal growth. 

[nyruratchet]

Notes 4 - The Morning After

“People. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

There are pills for straight couples to avoid pregnancy after a few moments of bliss, there are pills to help people stay safe from contracting HIV, there are pills to recorrect the chemical imbalance for people struggling with mental issues; there are pills for EVERYTHING, but no one has derived a magical pill to fix the pain one feels when forced to wake up the morning after valentine’s day alone.

Actually, this problem doesn’t just exist on Valentine’s day. But, seeing as how I’m perpetually single, I can attest to the fact that this day is the most painful (all other holidays come second). Just yesterday, someone asked a question, “yall fall in love with niggas y’all meet on apps??”

My response: Honestly, what are the other options? This is a legitimate question...

Him: Go meet someone in real life...apps aren’t real life! You don’t know that nigga til u see him. In real life, u see everything you as over and over on the app.

Me: You do (meet them), but those are the same guys on the apps. And no one gives you the time of day at bars, events, etc. So, ur stuck with friends of friends, coworkers (nope) and apps...really (WTF?)

Him: Idk who y’all meeting but niggs stay tryin to see wassup on the low when I’m out...especially the damn gym!

Now, I then had to check him and remind him that, just because YOU are so attractive and have thousands of followers that men just flock to you, THAT IS NOT the average gay man’s reality. Just recently a black man on Grindr says he doesn’t like black men. Only whites and latinos. Yep, this is the world I live in. So when you all think I’m crazy to think I’m not in someone’s league, please know there are factors in the chess game that I’m aware of that you have NO CLUE about. Being the darker brother in the gay community is not easy and constantly I am made to feel like I’m not worthy of inclusion in it. Being dark is not acceptable. Nor is being skinny. Nor is not having a BBC (which is all anyone seems to value from us). Nor is being open to love; I’ve been faulted way too many times for that tbh. Almost as many times as I’ve been skinny-shamed or considered fem. Guys in our community are looking more for TS girls than black men. Period. I see “girls” on Grindr far too much. THERE, I said what I said. Grindr’s way of dealing with this influx...ask me to list myself as a CIS man. NO THE FUCK I WILL NOT! I’m a man. These labels are too much. can’t meet men in bars or apps or work. So, let me know...HOW?

To lose my virginity I had to get on craigslist and whore myself out like a rentboy (no money involved) only to get this catfish older man to respond. I was 21 years old and saw this as my only chance before moving to NY. Guys throughout my life up until this point (as i wrote about in my last post) had been ignoring me. I was invisible in the world of gay sex. I might as well have been a eunuch or a monk. I was always the “friend”...still am. So, I took this less then adequate gentleman and let him penetrate me for the first time; give me my first kiss (yuck, it was awful); and teach me a few things. I thought, after this, I’ll never have to settle for less than I deserve...BOY was I wrong.

Back to the part about me being invisible for a moment. Throughout high school, people knew I was gay. I told a few guys and expressed interest and they paid me no attention. COME TO FIND OUT, my (at the time good) friend Jonathan, had slept with a quite a few of them. (Backstory, I fell for Jonathan, he spurned me too, we became great friends, he then transitioned into being a woman, and now we don’t really talk). So, When I found this out, I was devastated. TO THIS DAY, I will never understand why I was not enough. I was SOOOOO nice to these guys. Dustin used to get picked on in middle school, and I used to stand up for him. Nick was the most beautiful boy in the world in high school with a smile that could like up the darkest soul and I would always root for him, etc. But, I wasn’t who they wanted. I mean, You think I’m a good guy now, you should have known me back then. I was such a kind spirit. My soul is so dark now and I don’t think that will ever be rectified.

These next instances are the reasons I will never be untainted. THESE STORIES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. If you don’t want to cry, feel sorry for me, or worry, stop reading now.

I have been abused mentally, physically, and emotionally. These stories are in sequential order.

When I was traveling once, I was drinking and felt like fulling one of my fantasies. I don’t remember why, but i know that I hadn’t been touched in a WHILE. And for a person who needs that, just a moment where someone can use you to “get off” is enough to make it through the night. One fantasy that is very popular in the gay community of being fucked by visitor who comes in the unlocked door and fucks you, then leaves after he finishes. No strings attached (NSA), photos presented beforehand (pics), usually some time of safeguards in place. I was new, and it was my fault. This guy sent me pictures on whatever app I was using, think it was Craigslist. He told me all his information, I told him where I was staying and said I’d be blindfolded, ready for him to fuck me when he walked in. As SOON as he walked in, I heard the door close and lock and I had a feeling something was wrong. He came up behind me, naked and grabbed my neck chokingly and SHOVED into me. And this guy’s body was WAY bigger than what he said. He was chub/stocky and nothing like what he had sent me. I tried to tell him to stop, that I didn’t want HIM. But clearly, he had done this before. And this was before catfishing was a THING. So, he wasn’t going to stop no matter how much I struggled. So, I resulted that this was a part of the “fantasy” that I had signed up for. I could NOT call this rape. I will never call that rape. Yes, someone lied to me, wouldn’t stop when I said so, but I was totally in the wrong here. I put myself in a situation to be taken advantage of by a stranger. That is one of the things that makes this fantasy so hot. Just happens in my case, that it went terribly awry,  So, I went limp and let him finish. He left. I locked the door and took down the posting I had made. My throat was on fire and he had pulled my hair too hard. But he was gone and I was alone again. 

Another time in a hotel room, laying over in Washington, Dulles I was getting ready for bed. I was hungry, so put my iphone on the charger, grabbed my food and went for the microwave on another floor. When I came back, my phone was charged enough to check my facebook. As soon as I opened it up, on my timeline it says “PAUL IS IN A RELATIONSHIP”. I said, wait...what? My Paul? the one who I helped move? The one I got a xmas tree for? The one I held while crying? The one I protected from himself? The one whose bed I was JUST in? The guy I had been talking to like every day? My heart was beating out of my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Now, I’m not nor have I ever been naive. We weren’t a couple. He wan’t mine. But I wanted him, made it known. He said lots of things that didn’t add up to much. But, I was in his life, so I accepted that until he could give me more. But when I saw THAT status. I LOST it! Why? because he had told me WORD FOR WORD: “I don’t want a relationship right now. I have some little twink guy from this broadway show who likes me, but I’m not interested.” I always did status checks to make sure I didn’t get blindsided. But alas, here I was despite all my effors. My body went NUMB. Tears ran down my face. I dropped to my knees and asked God or whomever was in charge of things WHY the FUCK was it not me?? Am I not cute enough? Am I too poor? Not successful enough? What did I do? I immediately texted my friend Ant and told her what was up and that I was ready to end it. Before I knew it, I was on a 3 way call. What no one knows is, at one point I was bathroom, in the tub, with a razor, a full bottle of advil, a bottle of wine to hopefully make the blood run faster. I had never contemplated killing myself. This was a knee-jerk reaction to someone I loved with every fiber of my being choosing to give his love to someone else who didnt even have to try! If he could throw me away after I gave all I had and more that I didn’t even know I had in me, and he STILL didn’t want me, how is anyone else gonna love/choose me? So, I was ready to end it. Cuz I knew, this would not be the last time this would happen; guys don’t seem to care who they hurt or how. Paul texted me and said he didn’t owe me any explanation “dude”.  But my friends talked me down from that ledge I was prepping to jump off. I also was terrified of doing it. I didn’t know if it would even work. And I didnt want my family to go through that. Till this day, that is why I could never commit suicide. I do think about it, yes. My life sucks. And try as I may, I don’t see a reason for me being here. And yes, I’ve been to many therapists ever since college. Its not a problem that can be talked out. I suffer from depression that can only be assuaged by fixing the problem; the problem is my life. (love, money, music). So, I just try to keep on. I’m not bi-polar; although, sometimes I wish I were. That is a diagnosis that can be managed with medication. My life, cannot be managed. But I’m trying...I am trying.

Now, as I mentioned before, not a big fan of coworker dating/fucking/etc. HOWEVER, there are 2 people I have always said I’d try if I had the chance. Because they may be reading this (doubt it, but I will fight my petty urges), We’ll just call them Trip and Kurt. Now, Trip and I have been messaging off and on doing this whole cat and mouse thing for years. He winds up telling me he’s interested but we couldn’t tell anyone at work; which I agreed to. And would have tried to keep his confidence, FOR HIM. He is really against work relations as well. This all started with grindr and just escalated to us talking off and on. Finally one day, he texts ME and asks “Hey sexy, you in NY?” I wasn’t. Was working. But I never post my whereabouts on FBOOK so, the question was warranted. He said he really wanted to fuck. Our paths kept not being able to cross. So, LONG story short, I rearranged my schedule and we set up a “date” at his place when I got back. I was working a redeye. Told him I’d get home, run my errands take a quick nap and be over to make a full day of it. Trip agrees with everything. I do exactly what I say (I’m a Leo, it’s what we do. We’re consistent. We’re straight forward). I pick up a bottle of $20+ wine to show him I really give a shit and to be courteous because a good southern boy doesn’t arrive at someone’s house empty handed. I knew he had been done wrong and I wanted to put my first foot forward, even if it was just sex he wanted. I message him when I was on the way back home...no response. Ok, I wanna shower. Text him again...tells me he’s out. I say, “ok well just tell me when to head over. I’ll be at home” He says “ok sounds good baby.”  Ok, so I take my hour nap so I don’t miss his text. (For me, you KNOW that is no small feat!) I get up and he still hasn’t messaged me. So I wait...and wait...and wait for 5 hours. Then I text him “Ok...well, headed to bed I guess. Hope you had a good night. (he’s scheduled to work the next day so I KNOW no late fun was happening)  But beforehand, my spidey senses were tingling. So, I got on facebook. OH, he’s out living his best life! Fuck MY time right? Awesome. I had a drink then went to sleep. Next day, he messages me that he fell asleep after getting home. BOO, so...you left your friends (after you went out...yeah, I saw the check-ins), hopped a train, got home, and never NOT ONCE thought to text me to tell me a damn thing?! But you say “sorry” and I’m supposed to just accept that? No. I wanted you past the point of that barrier I placed up barring all guys I worked with. You just took a big dump on that AND made me feel shitty in the process. I took that bottle of white wine to the head by myself at some point btw...

Now Kurt, he’s special...I met him and was immediately entranced. To keep this one shorter, he also told me HE DIDNT WANT TO DATE ANYONE. Guys need to stop telling these motha fuckin lies!  Ok, so I’ll be your friend. But I really like him. So, I’m minding my own business and facebook again notifies me, Kurt is in a relationship. OH? with WHOM? Oh! someone we work with? Someone you met AFTER ME?! Interesting...now, when this boy confessed a secret to me, I was totally loving and told him my past experiences and that he’s and amazing person, etc. So, the next time we work together, I don’t mention his new BF. He brings it up and explains how and why he fell for him. WOULDNT YOU KNOW IT, the boyfriend said the same thing I did about his secret but just BEFORE he happened to conceal it. I tried so hard not to roll my eyes when he told me that. It was like a smack in the face. If you don’t think I’m cute, just say that. But don’t talk about how someone’s heart won you over. Cuz I was here loving on you before. I went back up to my room (tipsy) turned on some Aaliyah and cried myself to sleep. I am never gonna be enough for these boys/men. I saw that now. Paul had recently resurged and re-exited my life after telling me he loved me. I WAITED for that! He was the first man to ever say those words. And they were supposed to mean something! And shortly after...he ghosted me again. So, I’m feeling pretty worthless at this point.

No matter what I do, I’m never good enough. I keep trying to be the best me and there is always someone there saying, nah...this other dude is better. Swipe left. “Thank you, Next” (I don’t like Ariana Grande btw.) I have this fear that when I’m old, some guy I’ve loved forever will find me and say, I married someone else. He’s gone now, he did me wrong. We can be together now. Like I’m only going to be someone’s choice after their first choices have bit the dust. That is NOT okay with me. 

So, here I am on Valentine’s day trying to explain to all of you who have someone to “come home to”. EVEN if you don’t like Vday, do not pretend that this day doesn’t matter or make people feel a certain way. I’m alone AND I’m lonely. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t feel this unless you tell me how to not feel that way; and your explanation better not involve friends. Sorry, friends have their own issues and while checking in and venting is great, they can’t be your life support. They can’t help you take care of your heart. Especially if they are married, have kids, etc. You’re the single 3rd wheel. 

I tried to take myself to the movies. The movies I wanted were all sold out by couples. Dinner, tables full. So, I ate leftovers from yesterday’s dinner I cooked and am halfway through this bottle of wine. You cannot fault a person for wanting love. Finding it may have been somewhat easy/happenstance for you. And I try not to fault YOU for that. Everything has been hard for me. Literally, everything. That’s the only reason I’m still here. Because when something happens, I yell, scream, vent, handle it like Olivia Pope, then continue on. No one is there at night when i lay down. No one said Happy Valentine’s day to me today. No one is gonna smile at me when i wake up in the morning.  Nope, I have to survive my morning after by myself. No pill in hand to help.

“Children needing other children, yet letting our grown-up pride hide all the need inside...acting more like children, than children.”

[blushoseoks]

stuck on you. (m) | 01

“I want you to take my virginity.” “what the fuck did you just ask me, kim taehyung?”

or, alternatively:

you’re not actually supposed to take your bestfriend’s virginity when he asks, right?

➶ pairing: kim taehyung x reader 

➶ rating: mature. find out what this entails, here.

➶ part: [1/3]

➶ chapter song: falling for you by peachy!

➶ (a/n): this is written for fun and i a pologize for this atrocity in advance. first attempt at smut and crack, so do let me know my thoughts! feedback is always welcomed !!

out of context quote: [9:52 am] Taehyung:  ___\o/___ me drowning in ur pussy lol 

“I want you to take my virginity.”

You’ve just taken a gulp of your pulp-included orange juice when Taehyung says this. He’s sitting across from you in the cafeteria of the University you both attend - have attended for the past two years.

His brown coffee coated eyes are staring directly into yours - a serious expression written across his features that tells you what he’s just spoken was said in nothing but pure seriousness.

And he says it so nonchalantly - so earnestly, that you do the only thing you can think of.

A perfectly reasonable reaction after hearing that your best friend, the boy you’ve been in love with for over two years - wants you to take his virginity.

You spit your orange juice out all over him.

Spraying him like a skunk without intent.

Your cheeks, which were puffed out full of the beverage you were drinking, deflate like a balloon as the liquid leaves your lips and coats your best friend's face and attire.

Afterward you don’t even have the decency to apologize while he’s just pulled a disgusted face, one meant just for you, and has reached for the plethora of napkins on your tray (luckily for him, you’re a messy eater) and has just began to attempt to dry himself - your lips part in question.

“What the fuck did you just ask me, Kim Taehyung?”

He lets out an annoyed huff - you think you see his eyes roll but it’s hard to say for certain when he’s dabbing at the liquid soaking in at the hem of his white button up shirt, head down, focusing on the task at hand.

“Technically, I told, not asked. And Jesus, you’re so dramatic, Y/N.” He replies, tone bored and exasperated.

Your hands come to press against the surface of your lunch table, eyes still wide.

Fortunately for the both of you, the other occupants who usually sit at your lunch table were still in bed. Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin and Yujin’s classes didn’t start until mid afternoon - as for anyone else in the cafeteria, they were tables away or far too dead in the morning to bother eavesdropping.

“Dramatic?! Taehyung-,” you lower your voice down into a whisper, scooting up so close to the table that the edge of it presses into your breasts uncomfortably, “you just asked me to pop your cherry, take your V-card, corrupt your innocence, screw your pooch-”

“That’s not the expression.” He cuts you off with a sharp look, head tilting up as he rips his eyes away from his shirt and to where you sit. All traces of amusement leave your face as you realize that the jokes were interfering with the seriousness of the intended conversation and seemed to insult him.

“I know what I asked, Y/N. I am the one who asked it - and don’t you dare treat me like I’m an angel. I was watching porn while in the womb. I knew what a vagina looked like when I was eight, knew what sex was when I was six.”

You roll your eyes, head shaking a little bit. He was being melodramatic, but you understood the point he was trying to prove. Still - it did nothing to sway your already formulated answer.

But - you couldn’t shake the question circulating your brain.

“I don’t - I don’t understand. Why are you asking me of all people to take something so meanin-”

He cuts you off again, and by the smooth reply of his words, you can tell that he’s thought this through. That this isn’t something he just pieced together, or come to conclude carelessly - that he’s been thinking of this for a good while now.

You want to ask him how long fucking you has been on his mind to lighten the mood, but you keep the crude comment at bay with the bite of your tongue, knowing it’s better to stay silent as of now.

“You’re my bestfriend, Y/N. You know everything about me, you’ve seen the good side of me, the bad side of me, you’ve seen the disgusting things I’m capable of, like the time I belched the abc’s and threw up all over your sneakers--”

You grimace at the memory, the feeling of having to walk home with his vomit in your shoes was something you didn’t look back at with fondness. You had spent four hours trying to clean the shoes, only to have to throw them away not because of the damage, moreso because of the stench.

“Okay,” you sigh, waving him along with a stroke of your hand, “I get it, I get it, continue on.”

He rolls his eyes, but the corners of his red lips tug upwards into a miniscule smile.

“Carrying on - they say that your first time should be with somebody you love, somebody who's seen everything you are as a person, somebody you care about - and well,” he pauses for the slightest of moments, “well I love you, and you love me, right?” His eyebrows raise to add emphasis to his question, and he already knows the answer. Obviously.

Because if you hadn’t loved him, would you really have forgiven him for the whole sneakers incident?

The nasty fucker.

And well - you did love him. You loved him so entirely much, more than he loved you.

So when you hear that part of his sentence, your stomach does a little drop, the unrequited love you have for him creeping up your throat in the form of bile. You’re able to  keep it down by swallowing the lump and heated spit in your mouth.

You nod your head to answer his, more rhetoric than anything, question, and his smile widens - you were right, he already knew the answer.

“But - why me?” You say, even though you know how he’ll answer - because you’ve been his friend longer than anyone else has been. You continue on even so.  “Jimin loves you, Jimin knows what nasty and disgraceful things you’re capable of - Jimin--”

“Jimin’s a boy, Y/N.” He says, interrupting your rambling with a sigh. “And-,” he pauses, his nose scrunching up in distaste.

“Jimin’s ugly.” He says, a face that says, “duh,” carving into his features. “You’re a girl, and you’re beautiful.”

You go silent. The tiniest amount of pink starting to coat your cheeks and the body of your neck due to the compliment he’s just paid you. And for a moment, you wonder why Taehyung decided to ask you such a thing - such an intimate, and private thing in the middle of a cafeteria - where someone could easily overhear if they truly wanted to.

Why didn’t he ask you that morning when he had stopped by your dorm room to pick you up?

Why hadn’t he tried to ask you on the way to the cafeteria? He had multiple opportunities, but he had waited. It didn’t make any sense.

He clears his throat, an indication that his patience is running thin.

Kim Taehyung - Taehyung who insisted that girl’s didn’t fart until age ten, the boy whose face crinkled when he saw two people kissing until he was thirteen, the boy who blushed and turned his head away awkwardly when you started to talk about your breasts - had just asked you - to have sex with him. To take his goddamn fucking virginity.

You shake your head quickly, eyes moving from the half untouched breakfast on your tray, where they had drifted during your train of thought - and back up to your best friend who is staring at you very openly.

“No, Taehyung. I just -” you pause momentarily.  “I can’t do it. It would ruin, utterly destroy our friendship. And I don’t-” you shake your head a little. “I don’t think you get just what you are asking me to do. You don’t understand how big a deal losing your virginity is.”

You watch as his lips fall apart suddenly, but no words carry out. His shoulders sink as his body posture falls a tad amount, and you can’t sit there and see how disappointed he looks because it makes you feel - sad, but also - somewhat flattered? Like a part of you may actually be happy that he’s upset you won’t be the one to fuck him.

You’re about to leave - but then he continues on.

“But if not you, then who?” He asks, and there’s a hint of something you can’t quite decipher hidden in the layers of his thick, deep, voice. “I’m almost twenty, Y/N. I’m almost fucking twenty years old, and I’m still a virgin!” He exclaims, voice raising. “I don’t want to have to wait longer, I don’t want to have to wait for someone when I already have a special someone. You’re special, you know? You’re like super special to me, and me being a virgin-” he hesitates for a brief second, like he had maybe lost his train of thought amidst his rambling. “I’m pretty sure it’s the reason no girls talk to me, or refuse to give me the time of day. I must have a stamp on my forehead saying, “Twenty year old inexperienced virgin, don’t touc--”

Taehyung’s a loud talker, he always has been. But somehow  he’s gotten even louder, so to save him from embarrassment you surge forward. Half of your body flying over the top of the lunch table as your hand moves to cover over his lips. As your hand touches his mouth, he looks at you with wide and curious brown eyes.

You mutter out a “shhhh” and he looks around  to make sure nobody had heard the discussion between you two, and  the few on-goers who had glanced in your guys’ general direction once you had body slammed the table, had looked away, prompting you to settle back in your seat, hands leaving your friend’s lips.

You take a deep breath, eyes finding his and in a serious voice you say:

“Taehyung, I can assure you that the only reason anybody would ever think you’re a virgin is because you just screamed it out for them to hear.”

You end your statement with a small smirk and once again, he rolls his eyes. Head shaking in pure and evident annoyance.

“Anyway,” he says, hands stretching out across the surface of the table to take your own.

Sometimes you think he does this on purpose. Like he knows what his touch does to you - that the slightest brush of his finger could have you swooning in a matter of seconds. But you shake the thought away, Taehyung would never be that cruel - he'd never take advantage of you like that.

Still - you can’t help but to glance down at either one of your hands and admire the way his fingers look grasping yours.

He begins to speak again, reattracting your attention.

“I asked you because I trust you, Y/N. You’re the only person I trust with something as big as this. I know it wouldn’t affect our friendship in a negative way but if anything, improve it.”

You cock an eyebrow, still not bought on the idea of fucking your bestfriend for his first time.

“Improve it because, well think of it this way - we’d be connected on a more intimate level.”

You stare at him, lips parting, as a look of disgust appears on your face.

Had he just tried to be romantic? If so, you’re horribly unimpressed.

“And I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now, I only gathered enough courage to finally ask you because well-” he lifts his shoulders up into a shrug, “how else could I get it done?”

You let out a huff of air, annoyed by how he had phrased the ending of his sentence. And deep down, you know he didn’t mean it in the way it sounded. Taehyung, well, he’s never been good with voicing his feelings. But still - it sounded like he only wanted you to do it because he had no one else. Like you were his only option.

“Gee.” You say effortlessly, hand moving to cover your chest  as you speak out the next part of your sentence, as if gesture that his words touched your heart. “You sure do know the way to a woman’s heart, Tae.”

This time, it’s you who rolls their eyes and you swing your legs over the bench you had been sitting at, plant your feet into the tiles of the cafeteria floor, hands grabbing the remains of your lunch tray as you begin to walk it over to the trash can, ready to discard the breakfast that will now go uneaten.

Taehyung doesn’t miss a beat, he’s following you, walking right beside you, refusing to give up that easily.

“I realize that I may not have stated that the best way.” He says, running a hand through his hair.

You dump your trash.

“Oh really, you think so?” You ask sarcastically. He ignores your comment, continues on.

“You know I’m not good with words, Y/N. ‘Specially when it comes to you ‘n all.”

You cringe at his text-talk lingo, now walking further to hand your tray to the lunch lady. You nod towards her, a smile on your lips in a way of thanking her for her services.

“You know I wouldn’t ask you something so big if I wasn’t absolutely serious  about it. You know it, Y/N.”

You still refuse to speak, your brain moving at a speed so rapid you can hardly make out the different thoughts. You’re nearing the exit of the cafeteria now, stopping only when you’re at the threshold - where you and Taehyung part every morning to attend your own separate, respected classes.

You - to creative writing, him to contemporary dance.

When you don’t say anything, he lets out a sigh. You watch as he lifts a hand, drifting it through his dark silver-grey, curly locks. His hair is getting longer - bangs drifting past his eyebrows but you don’t mind. You’ve always enjoyed the way he’s looked with longer hair. Always thought it made him look more attractive - if possible. Because Taehyung was sex on feet, and you had no idea why the girls at Seoul’s University didn’t try to eat him up.

Or for that matter, why the males didn’t either.

“Look, petal.” He says, intentionally using the nickname he created for you back when you were younger and all you ever wanted to do was wear flower crowns and look at their petals - but, don’t pick them because if you pick them they die, Taehyung!

“M’not going to force you or anything.” He shakes his head, “I hope you know that, at least. Y/N. And I’m certainly not going to try to guilt trip you or whatever, but I want my first time to be special - and you’re the most special person to me, y’know? You’re the only person I can see myself doing this - big thing, with.”

Yeah - he really wasn’t good with words, but you have to admire his efforts.

You watch as he lifts his shoulders up into a short shrug. “So just - just like think about it, and let me know, okay? No rush or anything.”

And before you can add something, or reply in a sarcastic manner, Taehyung is waving you off with a wide smile before heading off towards the direction of his first class of the day - like what he had just asked was as normal as asking about the weather - as if the consequences couldn’t change everything established between the two of you.

You shake your head, a breathless laugh mixed sigh leaving your lips as you decide to carry on with your day, knowing that the discussion was not going to be able to leave your head at all that day.

You don’t speak about the offer again until later that night, when your friend/dorm-mate Jisoo ponders on your behavior. You don’t even see Taehyung again that day - deciding to skip out on lunch, finding that it would be a bit too awkward if you both had shown up and acted as though he hadn’t asked you to swipe his V card a few hours prior.

But even though you hadn’t seen him - you had heard from him. He had been relentless in his texts to you, his overabundance of messages higher in count today than ever before.

[9:48 am] Taehyung: B======D

[9:52 am] Taehyung:  ___\o/___ me drowning in ur pussy lol

[9:53 am] Taehyung: oh wait u dont like tht word

[9:53 am] Taehyung: lemme fix it

[9:53 am] Taehyung: **vagina

You had let out a scoff at the his crude messages, but you’d be lying if you said that they hadn’t made you crack a small smile, even if it was only nine in the morning when you had received and read them. And - he was so childish, so immature. How did he expect you to take his virginity when he had the mental age of a fucking thirteen year old boy?

You’d thought about what Taehyung had asked all day, just like you assumed you would.

But honestly - how could you not?

It made the day much harder in the work sense.

Because words in your history book changed into sexual innuendos, and the historical pictures were suddenly Taehyung - dressed in outdated clothes saying inappropriate things like, “have sex with me, c’mon!” Or, the most unrefined, “If you don’t have sex with me, Donald Trump will be elected for another four years, and we both know you don’t want that!”

You had slammed your textbook shut so loud that you had distracted a few of your classmates, resulting in you sinking in your seat with embarrassment.

You were currently sitting on your twin sized bed, back against the wall it was pushed up against, laptop in your lap, as your eyes fixated on the blank piece of virtual paper that stared back at you.

You were meant to be writing your report on Global Warming and the proof on why it did exist, but your mind kept going back to Taehyung.

To Taehyung who had asked you to fuck him without so much as a blush rising to his cheeks, meanwhile you were sitting here, on your bed, the slightest tinge of pink coating your cheeks at just the mere thought.

Taehyung who invaded your heart so easily that you hadn’t known it had happened until it was already too late!

Taehyung who-

“What’s got you all pink and dreamy eyed over there?” Jisoo’s sweet melodious voice fills the four walls of your small dorm quietly, immediately grasping your attention and pulling you out of your innermost thoughts.

Your lips part, head tilting up a little - so you stare in her general direction. She’s mimicking you in a similar fashion, back pressing against the pillows of her bed, laptop in her lap - but she’s more interested in her phone than the conversation she’s just initiated or the homework that sits undone on her laptop.

You’re about to give her a bullshit answer - but the words that you want to speak won’t leave your lips. You take a moment to ask yourself why you shouldn’t ask her for her advice. She was a loyal friend, someone you had met right about the time you had fallen in love with Taehyung - she knew the details, plus Jisoo was intelligent.

She’d see where you were coming from and tell you fuck no! And then you could be on your way, delivering the news to Taehyung.

And so - you tell her. Abruptly, right then without a seconds worth of hesitation.

Your bad, really.

“Taehyung asked me to take his virginity today.”

You watch as her thumbs that are hovering over her phone’s keyboard suddenly halt - you watch her whole entire body still as she looks up, her eyes widen so much they they resemble saucers - like she can’t believe what she’s just been told. You take her silence as permission to carry on.

“I fucking know right? And then he gets all butthurt when I turn him down! Like what, Taehyung? What horribly written porno or cheesy romantic movie have you been watching to get the idea that I’d take your vi-”

But she interrupts you - quite literally, with a pillow. She chucks it towards you and it hits you so hard it shuts your laptop screen.

You look up astonished, about to rip her a new one and ask her why the fuck she just did that, but before you can, she’s rambling.

“You fucking said no?!” She’s standing now, bewilderment stretched all across her features. “You said no, Y/N! Why? Why on Earth would you say no?!”

You push your laptop over to the side of the bed you’re not using and scoot more towards the edge, you’re sitting criss-crossed now, the tossed pillow she had thrown at you now in your lap, as your arms wrap around it.

Your curiosity is now peaked, did she really disagree with your decision?

You watch her intently as she paces your small dorm room, walking from one end of her bed to the other and repeating the cycle over and over again as she thinks.

“How could you have said no?!” She screeches, head turning in your direction.

Immediately you feel threatened, arms unwrapping from the pillow and hands moving up into a surrendering type pose.

She rolls her eyes, muttering something that sounds oddly similar to, “You’re so fuckin’ naive. Stupid, stupid girl!”

You’re about to ask her just how you’re being naive! If she really thought you’d take Taehyung’s virginity?!

But before you can, she’s walking past her bed and over to your dresser, going through your top drawer - of which just happens to be your.. delicates.

“Jisoo, what on Earth are you doing?” You ask her, jumping up from your bed, you’re standing between both of your beds now, arms now crossed over your chest as she rummages through your panties and bras, throwing different colored ones over her shoulder carelessly with a shake of her head or a roll of her eyes.

“Jisoo! I just folded all of those, what’re you doing?!” You exclaim when you don’t get an answer.

Her movements cease, head turning towards you as she shakes her head, eyes rolling loudly.

“What does it look like I’m fuckin’ doing, you brat? Picking you out something to wear so you can go fuck Taehyung!”

You scoff, head shaking as you look off to the side.

“Jisoo it’s Tuesday, who has sex on a Tues--Hey!” You screech when you figure out the weight of her words, head snapping back towards the black haired female whose attention has resettled on your undergarments. “I never agreed to that! I’m not fucking Taehyung. Especially not on a Tuesday!”

Once she hears your words, she turns towards you - now standing up with a matching pair of black underwear and panties in her grasp.

“Voila!” She shouts, a satisfied smirk raising onto her lips. “Knew you had to have something other than granny panties in there!” And your lips part, about to fight back but she interrupts suddenly. She mimics your actions, arms crossing over her chest.

“Give me three reasons why you shouldn’t take Taehyung’s virginity.”

You scoff again, as if it’s the most obvious thing. You’re a few feet apart now, you can see the smirk increasing in size on her lips.

“One.” You say, rolling your eyes because you know she doesn’t think you can come up with three reasons. You hold up one finger. “He’s my best fucking friend! Fucking your bestfriend’s is a huge no-no! It’s written in all of the fuckin’ books.”

Jisoo lets out a noise resembling a, “pfft.”

You continue on, holding up a second finger.

“Two - he doesn’t realize the full meaning of what he’s asking me to do!”

Jisoo tilts her head, obviously still unconvinced.

“Three! Did I mention he’s my best fucking friend and that you’re not supposed to fuck your bestfriend! Especially when you’re in love with him!” You exclaim, waving a hand for emphasis.

You let out a tired sigh after you breathe out the last of your sentence, Jisoo still seems unfazed by the entire ordeal.

“Those three reasons don’t mean jack shit, babe.” She says, “They are nothing but excuses.” She must get tired of standing, because she moves to sit on her bed, legs dangling over the side.

You let out a slow breath before you mimic her actions, taking a seat on your own bed.

“Explain.”

“Fucking your best friend would be a huge no-no if it were any other pair of friends - but Taehyung  and you - you hold a special sort of relationship, you know that, right?”

You stay silent, you’ve always known that what you and Taehyung have is different - in a way.

Special. More intimate. A closeness you can’t quite describe, it’s been that way for as long as you can remember.

You shrug. “Even so, it just wouldn’t be right. It could still fuck things up.” You state, still unconvinced.

“Not if neither of you let it.” She adds on, like she knew you were about to say that. “And knowing you both - neither of you would let it. You both care about each other way too much to let something come between your friendship.”

You let out a small breath, she had a point.

“Second, Taehyung - even though he may not act like it a majority of the time - is a grown ass man.”

You almost laugh.

“He’s almost twenty years old, Y/N, meaning he is capable of making his own decisions and knowing their true meaning and consequences. He wouldn’t have asked you if he thought he would be jeopardizing your friendship, or - for that matter, you. And you know that. He loves you too much to do something that risks him losing you.”

“Which brings me to my next part - he loves you, and he knows that you love him - in the way you do.”

You suddenly still, body tensing just a small amount. She’s tried to say this before - that he knows you’re in love with him,  but he’s too afraid to explore something more. You know it’s bullshit - if Taehyung knew, he’d tell you.

Wouldn’t he?

“So that means he asked you because he loves you too, Y/N. He asked you because he’s in love with you, as well. You know he wouldn’t ask you to do it - knowing he knows, if he didn’t feel the same way.”

You roll your eyes.

“And fine,” she says exasperatedly,  “if you don’t believe that - then fuck him. Fuck him to fuck the love you have for him away. Use him, because he’ll be using you, right? Use each other, it’s only fair.”

(Jisoo doesn’t believe a word of her last argument, she knows that Taehyung loves you - it’s obvious, isn’t it? But if you’re not going to believe her then she’s going to manipulate you into thinking something else - that way, you and Taehyung can finally discuss your feelings for each other, it’s the perfect plan - right?)

You let out a sigh, still not fully convinced - but - but maybe, Jisoo did have a point? Maybe sleeping with Taehyung would help you move on from him in some sort of twisted reverse-psychology way?

“And,” Jisoo says, adding one more thing before she gives up, “if you don’t believe anything else I’ve said - then think of it this way: Taehyung is attractive, right? If you don’t take his virginity, somebody else will. Somebody who probably won’t care about him like you do. Somebody who probably won’t love him the way you do. Do you want that for him?”

You swallow the lump in your throat - her words hitting you like a shit ton of bricks. And once she see’s the way you’re finally thinking and fully contemplating the entire thing - she’s once again smirking to herself, because she knows her work here is done. And so she tosses your lingerie carelessly onto your bed, while she repositions herself into a more comfortable position, pretending to idly scroll through her phone.

“Definitely choose black, by the way. It brings out your eyes.”

You let out a clearly frustrated groan, your head shaking. You’re still not fully sure what you will do, your head drops as your eyes scan the floor that now has your underwear and bras thrown about.

And then you grab the pillow she had thrown at you previously and chuck it back at her ruthlessly.

“Clean up the mess you made, brat.”

The next time you see Taehyung is three days later, Friday night, when you hear a knock at your dorm door.

You let out a silent sigh because you already knew who it was. The same boy who has been trying to pry conversations out of you since the day he asked you the big question.

“So, have you been thinking about what I proposed?” Taehyung’s deep and smooth voice ponders as soon as you open the door to your room, he’s taking up the entire space of the threshold - the single entrance and exit, tall body pressed up against the side of the doorway, arms folding as he sizes you up.

He looks extremely good. Clad in a snapback that covers a majority of his long silver hair, a light grey oversized - long sleeved shirt covering his torso with the words, “not your babe,” written across the center. He’s wearing a pair of black skinny jeans - ones that hug the quelsm of his thighs graciously. You force your eyes away.

You’re dressed in a black  long sleeved shirt, one that covers more than half of your neck, the hem is tucked into your high-waisted shorts, and you have a pair of knee white socks covering a majority of your legs, black boots covering your feet.

You let out a scoff, but you can feel a small heated flame take over your body with every second his gaze lingers on your being, your cheeks threatening to go pink at any given moment. Your curly brunette hair is pulled up into a ponytail, separate curls falling to dangle around your face that you had attempted to pin back, but gave up after your third try.

“I don’t even get a fucking hello? Just a, ‘have you decided to take my virginity or not?’ Fucking rude.” You say, playfulness dripping from your voice. Taehyung snorts, shaking his head a little - you turn around then, walking back to your bed to grasp your small black backpack, maneuvering your arms through the straps, and when you turn back - you find Taehyung quickly snapping his head up, causing you to let out a disgruntled noise.

“Were you just checking me out?” You ask, your eyebrows furrowing and cocking upwards. Taehyungs snort - loud and obnoxious, would be considered unattractive if he wasn’t literally crafted by Aphrodite herself.

“You fucking wish.” He retorts, and a part of you lets out a soft sigh, yeah, you think, I kinda do.

Your eyes lift heavenward as you shove past him to stand in the hallway, he shuts your door, a smile curving up at the corners of his lips.

“You’ve been avoiding me, petal.” He says as you guys make your way down the hallway slowly, voices a soft whisper - because even though you both were in college, your University had a strict rule about curfews and the opposite gender in certain corridors. Luckily enough for you, you knew the dorm advisor - had befriended her by accident in English Literature - her name was Kang Seulgi and she was beautiful, in her third year of college, studying to be a teacher - but you had a feeling that your sort-of friendship with her wasn’t the only reason she turned a blind eye when Kim Taehyung was often seen poking around your dorm, usually at the late hours of the night or the early ones of the morning. You’re pretty sure she had found him attractive, which was easy to do.

But for some odd reason, the furthest she had ever gotten with Taehyung was a greeting, and that was that. Maybe she sensed that you had feelings for him, maybe it was something else.

You weren’t going to prod, because perhaps prodding would give her the courage to finally speak to Taehyung, and Taehyung having another option to who to give his virginity to made you feel… dare you say, uncomfortable?

You shake the thoughts away the best you can, you had no right to feel or think that way - especially when your mind was pretty much already made up.

Taehyung’s virginity was not yours to hold onto if you weren’t going to take it in the first place. Who he gave it to - was not your business if it was not going to be you.

“Not avoiding, Taehyung.” You say, finally replying to his inquiry. “Just not - exactly looking for you.”

“--And running away from me when you do see me!” He continues, “And spending your lunches in the library,” he adds, “I’ve been by your room every day this week since Tuesday to pick you up per usual - only to have Jisoo answer annoyed at me for waking her up at, ‘the ass crack of dawn!’ because somebody had already left early without warning me.”

You grimace, thinking about Jisoo’s early morning wrath and offer Taehyung an apology, he lets out a chuckle, shoulders sliding upwards into a shrug.

“I just didn’t want to see you until I made my decision.” You reply honestly. You see the smile on his lips only increase in size.

“That’s not a yes, asshole.”

“I know, I know,” Taehyung says, “but, Tuesday morning it was a no - now it’s still a decision. So it’s been bumped up a few notches, which I’ll more than graciously accept.”

You roll your eyes, he had you there. “Shut up.”

“But anyway - I don’t want to sound like an asshole or anything-” by now you both have made it out of the A rooms, currently outside in the parking lot. Taehyung leads you towards the direction of the library where you will go to study, you’re lucky that the party he’s attending passes the library, offering the perfect excuse to walk together. “But why do you care so much about who I lose it to? I mean, you lost it to--”

You hold a hand up quickly, a grunt leaving your lips. “Kim Seokjin, yes I’m aware.”

Kim Seokjin was a mildly sore subject, he was your first love - you had cried the day he graduated because you were far too intelligent to know what was to come next. And surely enough - the breakup, though foreseen, still hurt. You both were upset though, both in love - or as far into love as two naive teenagers who barely had a grasp on what love even was could be. You had lost contact with each other over the years, but you knew he was going to University in Daegu, and he seemed to be happy. He had a boyfriend who was trying to produce music, you think his name was Yoongi, but you don’t remember. The most contact you have with Seokjin now is through mutual facebook likes.

“But see, I loved Seokjin, Taehyung. He was my first love.” You turn your head to Taehyung, eyes flickering around his face. His jaw seems clenched, but you’re unable to make it out in the moonlight, “And because he was my first love it was special, and lovely - and even though we didn’t last, I don’t regret it, y’know? That’s what I want for you, Taehyung.” You keep your eyes on the side of his face as you continue speaking - you guys are nearing the library, and you can see multiple cars filling the road - no doubt in your mind that half of them belong to patrons of the party Taehyung’s going to attend.

“I don’t want you to regret your first time.” You say, letting your head finally turn forward and away from Taehyung.

“I know,” Taehyung breathes out, “I don’t want to either, which is why I asked you. So just -” he stops walking now, wanting to take a second to finish the conversation before you leave him to study and he leaves you to swallow the concoctions Namjoon will surely shove down this throat. “Just know that I wouldn’t regret it - don’t ask me how I know, because I just do.”

And he offers you his signature rectangular smile, one so bright, you can see the dimples appear above the corners of his lips even in the dark. He then moves his right hand upwards to cup the side of your cheek, the pads of his fingers smoothing over the skin there - and this is not a rare occurrence, but it still causes your breath to catch, having not expected it.

Your lips part - why? You’re not entirely sure, you want to argue his statement, but try as you might - no words come to the surface. You were at a loss for a retort. How and what could you reply to Taehyung when he had just said he wouldn’t regret sleeping with you?

His words seemed to have set a tingly-like feeling spread throughout your body. One that resembles that of a forest fire.

And Taehyung notices how you seem to have let your mind linger on something he isn’t very sure about but has a good clue. And before you can get a word out - Taehyung is doing what Taehyung does best.

Distracting your thoughts and putting your mind at ease, leaving you before you can counter his argument, leaving before you can correctly contemplate a well formed response. Leaving you with your thoughts, giving you time to think.

Your eyes fall to where his body is - backing away from you slowly as he drifts into the cool night, his smile still visible but disappearing as he drifts away from the lights of the library.

“See ya later, petal. Don’t study too hard.”

You let out a grunt, trying to properly catch your thoughts as you grasp the straps of your backpack and pull it tighter onto your body.

“Don’t drink too much.”

And then you turn around and start to walk to the entrance of the library - knowing that trying to study with the thoughts of Taehyung on your mind would be impossible.

You’re an hour and thirty minutes into your studying - scratch that, your attempt at studying when you finally decide to give up, that no matter how hard you try - there was no way you were going to be able to focus on the tasks at hand.

You arrived at your dorm about twenty minutes ago and had long changed into something more comfortable. You were dressed in a sweatshirt and a pair of light grey shorts that hung somewhat loosely on your hips - you had to tie them in numerous knots to get them to stay put.

You had fished out your cellphone from it’s place of residing in the deepest catacombs of your backpack - somewhere you stored it when you were trying to study. And once you turn it on - you immediately check through the messages you had received.

[10:05 PM] Jisoo:  let me know if tonight’s the night you take him for a ride!!! I defo dont wanna walk in on tht xx ;p

You roll your eyes at Jisoo’s crude messages - ever since your talk with her that night in your dorm, she had thrown jokes like the aforementioned one your way, cracking comments every so often.

[10:23 Pm] You: suck a big one, Jisoo.

[10:23 Pm] Jisoo: im trying ;) xo

Your face distorts easily as you shake your head knowing that Friday’s were her and Jimin’s ‘date,’ nights.

You decide to take a moment to scroll through Instagram - more specifically, Taehyung’s Instagram. Your curiosity getting the best of you, wanting to see how his night was going.

The photos he’s posted seems like the ones he posts every Friday night - a name he claims as his party nights.

One of him, Namjoon, and Jeongguk - a friend of his you hadn’t really been acquainted with, but heard of so often it felt like you actually did know him - were crowded into one picture, drinks in their hands. They wore similar lazy smiles and their eyes matched with a recognizable gleam of intoxication.

The next photo displayed a table set up to play beer pong -  no doubt in your mind it was Hoseok’s doing. The photos continued on, a majority of them would be deleted in the morning after Taehyung sobered up and realized how foolish he was making himself look. Or, for a better reason - he didn’t want his parents thinking he was a full-blown alcoholic.

Your ‘liking’ spam must’ve caught his attention because the next thing you know your phone is dinging with a clear indication that you’ve received a text message.

And sure enough it was from Taehyung himself.

When you open it, you see that he’s sent you a photo. There’s a sly pout curving on the shape of his lips, eyes glaring with a sheer liquid and his hair seems to be slick with sweat and stuck to his forehead.

Your eyes roam over the message he’s sent with the photo.

[10:21 Pm] Taehyung: misin  u loads :( [10:23 Pm] Taehyung: wishin u were here <3333

You had let out a soft chuckle at his messages, fingers working out a quick reply.

[10:25 Pm] You: If only you cared about your grades more than you do your alcohol. :~)

[10:25 Pm] Taehyung: hahaha that nose looks likes a sperms

Before you wring his neck at the reply he’s sent, another is being sent to your phone.

[10:26 Pm] Taehyung: wish u were here tos care off all the girls!!! they wont leave me alone :( they never bug me when ur around me

As your eyes scan over the words of his last message - your jaw clenches. Teeth moving to press together tightly. You reread the two sentences several times trying to ease the quickening of your heartbeat.

It was hard being in love with a boy who was desired by many, you had learned this long ago. Taehyung was a social butterfly - he took to people as moths do to flames. He was easily a people person, someone who got along with everybody. You, on the other hand - were the opposite.

You had a small amount of people you considered your friends and you didn’t feel like you needed anymore. Why waste time trying to make friends when you were happy with the ones you had? You didn’t see the point.

The uneasiness of his reply doesn’t leave your body for the next hour. And you spend the time trying to talk yourself out of what your mind keeps thinking about - trying to come up with many excuses to sway your decision you thought was permanent.

But something about his message opened your eyes - the message mixed with Jisoo’s words and the conversations you had had with Taehyung were replaying in your head on a continuous loop.

And it’s while you’re in your bed, staring up at your ceiling do you come to your final decision.

You were in love with Taehyung, Taehyung deserved to lose his virginity to somebody who loved him. To somebody who would do it correctly and truly teach him.

He deserved to lose his virginity to someone who would continue to always care for him.

Taehyung was determined and his mind was set on the idea that you would be the one to take his virginity - and if he had come to that decision all on his own, and if he had worked up the courage to ask you - and continue to hope you’d do so even after you had refused his offer, you knew that in his eyes you were the only one he could see doing it.

So you decide, right then and there that you’ll take his virginity. But, if you were being honest - you had decided from the moment he had asked you.

A part of you knew that you wanted to - a part of you knew that you were going to end up saying yes, which is probably why you had been so adamant on saying no in the first place.

Quickly you grasp your phone that had been lying untouched by your body for the past hour. You unlock it and click on the conversation between Taehyung and yourself, fingers composing a message and sending it before you have time to reread it for grammatical errors.

[11:32 PM] You: Stop by in the morning, I need to talk to you.

The reply you get is almost instant - which causes your eyebrows to uplift in curiosity. To be honest, you hadn’t even expected Taehyung to even read your message tonight - not when he was preoccupied playing whatever childish games Hoseok dragged him into at the party he had tried to make you attend.

[11:32 Pm] Taehyung: everything okay?? [11:33 Pm] You: Just need to talk to you. [11:33 Pm] Taehyung: I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.

You had sat up quickly, having not expected that response.

And surely enough - fifteen minutes later, give or take a few, there is a soft knock at your door.

When you open the door you see Taehyung, who stands with an unreadable expression written across his features, his right hand scratching at the back of his neck. He’s looking to the side and you have no time for his weird behavior, because you’ve made up your decision and you know - that if you wait any longer you’ll end up stalling and talking yourself out of telling him your decision.

“I’ll do it.” You say softly, right hip cocking and pressing against the threshold of your doorway, arms moving to cross over your chest.

You hadn’t changed from your lazy clothes, hadn’t even attempted to fix your unruly hair. You figured that if Taehyung wanted you naked then he should be able to handle you when you looked your worst.

Immediately - your words grasp his attention. He looks up from wherever his eyes had been studying. His taller body has straightened out, obsidian eyes instantly landing on yours.

His lips part, as he gapes at you. And he’s silent - you hadn’t expected that. To be honest, you had expected him to jump up and down in glee - to shout something absurd, but instead you were met with a shocked expression, an unusual quiet taking over Taehyung’s body.

“What?” You squawk out, “Oh my god.” you says, eyes widening as the worst thought comes to mind. “Don’t tell me you changed your mind because I will be so fucking embarrassed-”

He cuts you off in a hushed, obnoxious, over-the-top chuckle, his long arms moving to wrap around your body as he pulls you into his chest.

“Petal, petal. I didn’t change my mind.” He says, tip of his nose pressing into the short locks of your dark colored hair. It’s obvious in his clear speech that Taehyung is not drunk, nor has he drank enough for him to not remember any of the conversation spoken tonight.

“I just - you kept saying no so I didn’t think you’d actually agree to it. But I haven’t changed my mind, Y/N.”

You shake your head, the top of your teeth moving down to skid across your bottom lip as you step out of his embrace, walking backwards into your room a little ways.

“I just needed to fully understand and think through everything.” You shrug - a light, effortless one. “I needed to make sure you knew what you were asking and I think our talk earlier really allowed me to come to the conclusion that this is what you want, and that I’d rather take it than some random girl, y’know?”

You look back up to Taehyung’s eyes, noticing how they’ve slipped away from your intense gaze, how the smile he had been wearing had disappeared right off of his lips. He looks - you can’t quite pinpoint it, but he’s not himself.

You cock an eyebrow upwards, directing your attention and words to the boy himself. “You okay? You’re acting like perhaps you’ve changed your mind. And if you have - that’s okay, just tell me. You have to be honest and-”

He interrupts again, and you make a mental note to scold him on the matter later. (Because you were a month older than him and he certainly was not respecting his elder!)

He returns his attention to your face, lips morphing into a smile. “Trust me,” he says, “I haven’t changed my mind - just maybe had a bit too much to drink, not feeling the best.”

You nod your head, a smile stains itself to your lips as you grasp his right hand, squeezing it as you pull him through the threshold and into your small room.

“Good, you can crash here then.” You say, knowing that Jisoo more than likely won’t be returning anytime soon and even if she was - she wouldn’t care or be surprised. In fact, her head probably would have roamed to the first dirty thing.

“So I’m guessin’ you don’t wanna do the deed tonight?” He asks, a goofy smile - one to signify that what he’s just said is a joke settles onto his face. And you mentally slap yourself.

He shuts the door behind him as you climb onto your bed. “No, you fucker. You’re somewhat drunk, or you were drunk - and when…” you trail off, taking a moment to gather your thoughts and what words you want to say.

“And when I take your virginity you have to be aware - sober too. So you can properly give me your consent. Now hurry up and get the fuck over here. I need the warmth your body provides.”

He obliges easily, a lazy smile overriding his features as he stalks towards you. “You only like my body heat, nothing else.”

And no time is wasted as he climbs atop of your bed after toeing his shoes off, his strong arms are cascading effortlessly around your small body as he tugs you into his chest.

Your back is pressed to the front of his body , your eyes are shutting - and your bed is comfortable. It always has been, but you’d choose Taehyung’s arms over your bed sheets any day.

And you listen to his breathing, a steady calming that sends your body into bliss. You focus on the rhythm for awhile - until he pauses.

And it’s silent for a few moments, you wonder if you should ask him if he’s okay. But you can hear the slightest sound of his lips falling apart.

Then he says, in a soft whisper:

“You’re my bestfriend.”

And you don’t think it’s something he wants a response to, he knows that he’s your bestfriend too.

So not another word is spoken as you both drift off into a deep slumber.

And perhaps if you had been a bit more aware, a little less focused on the big agreement that’s just been accepted, you would have noticed the scent of a lingering rose stained to the collar of Taehyung’s shirt.

Something much too feminine to belong to Taehyung.

“So.” Taehyung says the next morning when you both awake, the morning sun is blinding as it drifts in between the cracks of the blinds covering your windows. He’s standing to the side of your bed, fixing his shirt and running a hand through his colored locks. You’re lying in your bed, sleep still threatening to take over your body at any given moment, eyes focusing the best to their ability on Taehyung.

He suddenly turns towards you.

Reluctantly, you pull yourself up with a grunt. Positioning your back against the wall, your legs moving into a criss-cross position, a pillow resting lazily in your lap.

His eyes meet yours, his hands gesturing towards his body as he speaks out his next sentence.

“When you wanna do this, then?”

You pull a face, clearly unimpressed, faking a retching sound as you turn your head and pretend to throw up on your unmade bedsheets.

“Ha-ha.” Taehyung says after a few continued noises of fake puking comes from you. You force yourself back up into a sitting position, eyes finding his.

“That just made me change my decision, actually.” You joke, head tilting a little.

He rolls his brown eyes, knowing you too well. “But really.” He says, eyebrows lifting upwards. “What day fits best for you?”

Your lips part as you try to roam your head for answers, teeth grazing idly across your bottom lip.

“Sunday?” You ask, head once again lifting upwards as your gaze reaches his. He looks a little surprised - eyes widening the tiniest amount. Your guys’ week didn’t start until Tuesday, both choosing to not take Monday classes so you’d have an extra day to your weekend.

“That soon?” He questions outloud - your lips part as your shoulders move upwards.

“It’s my next available day but if you’d rather wai--” He shakes his head, interrupting you mid sentence.

“No, no, Sunday’s fine - just, I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t expecting it to be that soon.”

You watch his familiar boxy smile light up his entire handsome face - your stomach drops a little at the sight.

“So like, five on Sunday?” You question outloud. “That way we can like ease our way into it and--”

“Yeah.” He smiles, head nodding a little bit as he takes a step towards your bed. You’re not expecting his tall body to sink a little bit, and you’re more than definitely not expecting him to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, as he whispers a, “you’re the best, yknow?” into the slightly tense air.

It’s not meant to be answered, so you don’t retort- not that you’d be able to if you could, because the kiss he’s left on your skin has a million spurts of electricity eroding through your body. All wetness of your mouth has left in attempt to put out the fires spreading beneath your skin.

And you find yourself wondering how amazing the sex will be if something as little as a friendly kiss is causing you to swoon as much as you do.

You feel light - like you’re feet are floating and--

“I’ll be here Sunday. At five.” He’s stepping away, sending a way too friendly wink in your direction. He’s walking towards your door now, stopping when he’s feet away, turning his attention back to you one more time.

“And I’ll bring Chinese.”

Your eyebrows cock upwards in curiosity, he doesn’t let you question, already answering before you can get the first syllable out.

“We’ll be hungry afterward, won’t we? I hear sex works up quite the appetite.”

You facepalm, hand slapping against your face forcefully as you shake your head. You think you can hear him laugh quietly as he leaves your room, only allowing yourself to look up after you hear the door shut.

All day you’re convinced that you’ve dreamt everything that happened the night before and that very morning - even after you tell Jisoo to make plans somewhere else than your dorm on Sunday - even after having to roll your eyes at her remarks and her comment about wanting details.

It doesn’t fully register  in your mind until that night when he texts you again.

[8:33 Pm] Taehyung: if you think about it, it’s kinda llike the time you taught me how to ride a bike - only this time you’ll be the one riding ;)

[8:35 Pm] Taehyung: also how many condoms should i bring??

[8:35 Pm] Taehyung: im gonna bring like five yknow jsut in case

[8:36 Pm] Taehyung: and i didnt know what size so i got large n extra large ;)

And it’s there in your bedroom, body curled up against the wall - thoughts roaming about Kim Taehyung, his penis size, and chinese food, that you realize you only have two days to prepare yourself  to take Kim Taehyung’s virginity.

Your bestfriend.

The boy you’ve been in love with for two years.

And prepare yourself you will.

Because if Kim Taehyung wanted his first time to be special - then fuck, it was going to be.

[dovechim]

After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???” 

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but  still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”) 

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect  😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/ 

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing  😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!! 

come back whenever you have time bb

[meteora-writes]

sry im anon but i came to req a trick fic heheheheheheehe (im dying of thirst there is not enough trick content in this world!!!!) anyway!!! can u do a fic where troy is really nervous about getting w nick and nick tries to guide him thru whatever’s troubling him? it can be smut or fluff or both or hell it can be angst idc!!! i just need nervous virgin troy who doesnt know how to deal w positive emotions in my life (rly love ur writing btw ive read like everything uve wrote for these boys)

I got you, sweetie! And I’m gonna go ahead and set this at the Bazaar because Troy was so cute while he was high and freaking out.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Nerves

Paring: Troy Otto x Nick Clark

Warnings: Recreational Drug Use, Angst, Anxiety, First Kisses

~~~~~~~~~~~

Troy felt like his heart was pounding out of his chest. Like he was dying but also more alive than he’d ever been in his entire life.

The herd of walkers had long since passed, but he was still standing in the middle of the abandoned street clinging to Nick for dear life. The other man had his face pressed into Troy’s shoulder now, his arms just as tight around Troy’s body as Troy’s were around his.

“Nick… Nick, we can’t stay here… We gotta go..” He finally managed to say, voice just above a whisper as he looked around wide eyed.  

Nick just turned his face so he was speaking against Troy’s throat. “I can’t go back.. Please don’t make me.” He begged, lips brushing against the sensitive skin above Troy’s pulse point.

A shiver ran through Troy’s body at the feel of Nick’s lips. The drugs in his system made him feel everything more intensely, and that scared him almost as much as being high did. “We can’t stay out here, the dead…” He trailed off when Nick’s lips suddenly brushed his neck again, but this time in a line of sloppy kisses.

Suddenly Nick was holding his face between his hands and placing a kiss on Troy’s shock parted lips. When Troy didn’t react Nick pulled away, blinking in confusion. “I’m sorry, Troy… I thought.. Never mind, let’s just go..” He said, carefully starting to pull away from Troy.

Troy didn’t let Nick go, still holding onto him tightly. “You kissed me…” He said, voice awe struck as he stared at Nick like a deer caught in headlights. His head was spinning now. Nick had really kissed him.

“Yeah, I did. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” Nick rambled, looking around a bit wildly before locking eyes with Troy again.

“I’ve never…” Troy mumbled, not sure what to do now but look down at Nick’s lips. He didn’t want Nick to feel sorry, and he didn’t want to forget it. If anything, he wanted more, and that thought scared the hell out of him.

“Never what?” Nick asked, blinking at Troy in confusion before looking at where Troy still had one arm around his shoulders and a hand on his neck. When he looked up again Troy was no longer looking down but looking into his eyes. “Was that your first kiss?”

Swallowing hard, Troy nodded. He grew up on a ranch with people that were either family, or close enough to be called family regardless of relations. There was literally no dating pool for him. So yeah, he’d never been kissed, or anything else for that matter.

Troy felt his heart rate skyrocket with the smile Nick gave him then. His stomach twisted into knots when Nick pulled him close so their bodies were flush against one another.

“You want me to show you how?” Nick asked, tone playful as he tilted his head to bring their lips about an inch apart.

Troy’s breath hitched in his throat at Nick’s words. Not trusting his voice to cooperate, he gave a small nod.

Nick just grinned and with that he was kissing Troy again.

Now that Troy had known it was coming, he hesitantly returned the kiss. He tried to mirror Nick’s movements, but his nerves were running so high he couldn’t quite focus.

Eventually Nick pulled away, blinking at Troy. “You really have never done this before, have you?”

“Never.” Troy managed to say after clearing his throat and licking his lips. “Sorry..”

“Hey, don’t be sorry. We can take this slow, okay? Maybe try again when we’re not out of our minds?” He suggested with another grin.

Troy found himself nodding, because hell yes he wanted that. “You seriously wanna do this with me?” He asked before he could think otherwise.

A chuckle escaped Nick’s lips and he started to pull Troy in the direction of the Bazaar. “Yes, seriously. Now come on, let’s sneak back into the Bazaar and find a place to crash. We’ll talk about this when you’re sober.”

Now Troy was laughing. “Yeah, and you’ll have changed your mind by then.” He said cynically.

Nick stopped and turned to face Troy. “You really think I’d do that to you, after everything we’ve been through?” He asked

“Maybe…” Troy said, nerves making him look anywhere but at Nick.

Nick huffed a breath before grabbing Troy’s face between his hands and kissing him again. When he pulled away he let his forehead rest against Troy’s as he spoke again. “Troy, I want to be with you. But not when we’re both high out of our minds and you’re too nervous to enjoy it. So, we’ll pick this up later, alright?”

Troy nodded, smiling before giving Nick a quick kiss on the lips. “Yeah, alright.” He said, nerves settling a little.

They made their way back to the bazaar, and even though he was scared out of his mind, he curled up on a pile of blankets with Nick as they both came down from their high. The two of them stayed like that until they fell asleep in the early morning light.

[squishyharold]

I’m in love with the shape of you

Narry Fanfiction. Words: 3463 Summary: Niall has been getting off with strangers via webcam for a while now. No one intrigued him like the guy with the pretty tattoos though. SMUT.

Dedicated to @leprechauncupcakes​ and @littlemissmeggie​ because I love their narry stories ✌💛🌞 and @harry-nofookingway-styles because she’s amazing

Niall hits the spacebar again and again, one boring bloke replacing the next one. He's not sure why he's so into that webcam thing, why it thrills him to get off with strangers. Maybe it's because he feels a little less vulnerable, a little more confident about his body than he usually does. When he's at a bar with his mates and a boy or a girl start to hit on him he turns into a tongue tied idiot, already putting himself down. He points out his flaws to them and himself, making it obvious how scared he is of being close to someone. 

In the end he's too much trouble, especially when all they're looking for is a shag. Louis and Liam keep shaking their heads at him but he can't help it, he can't get out of his own skin. Only when he's in front of the webcam his flaws turn into strengths and he never once wastes a thought on what the other person might think about him.

But tonight he feels jittery, restless, and no face or body showing up on the screen interests him for longer than a second. It's all very shallow of course but that's what you get yourself into when you're doing stuff like this. So he keeps skipping to the next connection with his chin resting in his hand and a bored expression on his face. No one can see it anyway because he only ever shows himself from the neck down. He's too paranoid for more and his face, his crooked teeth, it's one of the things he feels most self-conscious about.

But suddenly he stops thinking, stops his hands and just hovers over the spacebar with his eyes glued to the screen. The first thing he notices is the ink on the boy's body. Birds above his chest, a butterfly right underneath and the hint of leaves cut off right above the edge of the desk he's sitting at. There's more on his arm, a heart, two hearts, a ship and Niall can't stop staring. He's so toned and probably works out on a regular basis.

Stranger: Are you from Ireland?

The message pops up right next to their webcam screens and Niall blinks in confusion for a moment, until he remembers that there's a huge Irish flag on the front of his low cut tank top. It's what he feels most comfortable in while still showing some skin.

You: You're a right Sherlock aren't you?

It's ridiculous how focused Niall is on the way the muscles in the stranger's arms work while he types out his next words.

Stranger: Don't be mean :( Some people wear shirts with flags just for fun.

You: Sry, just fucking with you.

Stranger: Fucking sounds good :))))

Niall shouldn't be choking on his own spit because that's exactly what they're here for but he does anyway, feeling his cheeks and his throat flare up with heat. He bites at his bottom lip and tries to ignore how nervous he is. He has done this a thousand times before, it's just getting off with a stranger. Granted, this is the hottest one he's been with so far and he doesn't even know what the bloke's face looks like but it doesn't matter. Niall is hooked.

Stranger: I usually don't talk much about myself but I'm a student and I want to major in gender studies, so I'm all about equality and stuff. So... it's not fair I'm the only one shirtless. Take off your top for me?

Niall doesn't even bother to write back, the fingers of one hand are already bunching up the fabric of the hem of his top, pressing down on his dick beneath the desk, out of sight. Okay, he thinks to himself. Just getting off with a stranger, as usual. So he slowly drags the top over his head, making sure his face doesn't get into the view of the camera. When he throws it behind him and moves his arm to straighten his mussed up hair he can see the stranger's body closing in to the screen like he's trying to get a good view. Niall's heart is hammering in his chest when the other boy types out a comment, probably a judgement of Niall's body and skin. He's usually not that nervous and if someone doesn't like what they see they just skip him, it's no big deal, he does the same. But he doesn't want to be skipped by tattoo-guy.

Stranger: Shit, you're gorgeous... not too small and I bet you would look lovely in my lap.

"Oh fuck," Niall whimpers to himself, rubbing over the back of his neck as goosebumps spread all over his body. The stranger has already leaned back with one hand still on the keyboard while the other runs along the button of his seemingly tight jeans. Niall swallows hard, his mouth completely dry.

You: You're not so bad yourself. I like your tattoos and your arms, fuck. You could probably hold me up against a wall.

Stranger: Never tried it

Stranger: But I could see myself with you

Stranger. In you

Stranger: Place and time doesn't matter

Niall is already rock hard in his loose joggers and he just has to shift back in his chair to let the stranger see it. He suddenly feels just as shy as he does in real life and he doesn't understand why. But this is different, not just because the boy is hot but also because there's usually no talking involved. You either get off together immediately or the speaking narrows down to 'show dick' or 'touch urself' which isn't hot at all. But the way he talks, like he really wants Niall, it makes him feel wanted despite being messed up in his head.

So he decides to be bold this once, pulling back a little and trailing his finger over his waistband before he pushes inside with his hand flat against his stomach. He rubs over the head of his own dick while he reaches out to the keyboard. Typing with one hand is a bit slower so the stranger beats him to it. He's pressing his hips hard against the edge of the desk and Niall wonders why.

Stranger: Shit, warn a guy!! I'm almost coming already. Where you this hard from the beginning??

Niall snorts to himself, deleting the bits he wrote to type out something new.

You: Nah, just you and your tats, your arms. It's why we can never meet, I'd probably get horny just from that while you introduce me to your parents :/

He can see shoulders moving on the screen like the stranger is laughing. Niall feels oddly warm, knowing he could make the bloke laugh despite his shaking hands when he starts to write an answer.

Stranger: Our love is already doomed, I can tell :(( won't stop me from making sweet love to you while you scream my name into the pillow.

Niall's hand moves down to grab the base of his cock, a tight grip to calm himself down because holy shit is this guy for real? He's ridiculous and Niall loves it already.

You: Don't know your name tho

He can see the stranger's hands still for a moment before they flex above the letters, contemplating an answer. Niall's not sure why he even said it, why he wants to know his name but maybe he got a little caught up in their fantasy. He tries to convince the stranger by moving his hand in his joggers, stroking himself just a little bit to tease the name out of him.

Stranger: Jesus

You: I doubt that's ur name

Stranger: It's Harry and now I wonder what it would sound like coming from your lips, with your accent

Niall rolls his eyes because yeah right, a hot guy like that is called Harry, as if! But he indulges him anyway, if that's what he wants to go with.

You: bit kinky aren't ya harry?

Stranger: only with you it seems

It's stupid but Niall blushes anyway, feeling more heat pooling in the pit of his stomach and making his skin prickle with want. He's not used to feeling like that, it's not how it usually goes. He sees someone's dick, gets off and it's done, he just feels it between his legs. But that guy is under every bit of his skin already with nothing but words and his body.

You: im Niall. Joinme now?

It already gets harder to type and just the idea of seeing Harry's dick is driving him insane.

Stranger: whatever you want Niall

He finally moves back in his chair again and Niall moans when he sees the thick bulge in the front of his trousers. He's popping the button with one hand before he pulls down the zipper and gets his hand in there. Niall fumbles with his own joggers to finally pull his dick free and when Harry does the same his breath hitches. He's hard and so bloody thick Niall would be scared to get that inside of him. Not that he knows what it would be like since he's a fucking virgin but no one has to know that, especially not this beautiful stranger. He's not a stranger anymore, though. He's Harry and Niall tightens his grip around his length when Harry does the same, already dripping wet and smearing it across the head of his cock.

You: whatever I want? Fuck I wanna go down on my knees and get u in my mouth.

A moment later he sees Harry's hips move, like he's thrusting up into his hand and Niall wonders if it's from the comment he just made. He feels like he's in the twilight-zone because in what world can he make such a hot guy hot for him? But he should probably stop thinking about it and focus on getting off because the need is building up under his skin and he's vibrating with need as he strokes himself harder. Harry just does the same while he types furiously with his free hand. Niall notices the little cross inked into his skin between thumb and forefinger and the anchor above his wrist. He's curious if Harry has more tattoos on him that aren't visible at the moment.

Stranger: fuck you'd be so good for me wouldn't you? I'd take such good care of your needy mouth

Stranger: but I rather wanna kiss you while I prep you with my fingers and get you all wet and ready for me

"Oh god," Niall moans and tips his head back for a moment, closing his eyes to picture this faceless Harry that he wants to snog the hell out of. His dick is twitching with the need to come and he's never been so close so fast before and he doesn't want to stop.

You: from what I can see ur fingers would feel so fucking good in me

You: stretch me so well

You: Id probably come twice before u get the chance to fuck me

He loves how Harry's hand speeds up at that, how he's squirming in his chair like his own hand isn't enough, like he needs Niall there with him.

Stranger: fuck Niall ur so perfect just look at you, with your skin all red and beautiful

He wonders what Harry's voice sounds like, is it high or low? He hopes he has a low voice that can purr praises into his ear all night while he's being fucked into the sheets. He feels his dick twitch in his hand and he crosses his ankles below the desk, curling his toes because he tries to hold back. He usually doesn't care, it's usually a race between him and the person behind the other screen. Whoever comes first is lucky and just logs off while the other has to try and find someone else. It's selfish but he doesn't want to be selfish right now, he wants to be... good. He pulls away from his cock to get both hands on the keyboard and it will be gross but he can't help it.

You: can I come

You: pls pls pls can I come

He stares at the screen and watches Harry arch his back on the chair, pumping his cock slower but with more effort as he starts to type. Niall already pulls back his hand to touch himself again but stops himself midway when he remembers that he's waiting for permission and he doesn't even know why.

Stranger: of course baby

Stranger: come for me

Stranger: wanna see

Niall falls back into the chair immediately, closing his eyes again as he wraps his hand back around his cock. He doesn't have to look at Harry, he can already see him behind his eyelids, can imagine his heavy body covering Niall as he gets him off with his hand and whispers into his ear. Come for me, baby, wanna see the mess you can make. 

He wants to make it good for Harry, wants him to see how good he feels and he blindly grabs at the backrest above him to keep himself on the chair, he already felt himself sliding down just a little bit. He's so close, so fucking close, dragging his hand up and down and then he comes without a warning, with the thought of mouthing against Harry's tattoo on his collarbone while riding out his orgasm.

His whole body trembles and his hips jerk when he comes all over his hand and probably his desk, too but he doesn't care much. He just bites at his lip and moans loudly, unapologetically, because he has his own flat and that must have some perks at least. He feels like he's coming forever and just keeps stroking himself until the last drop, sucking in huge gulps of air to calm himself down. He's not quite ready to open his eyes again, the aftershock making him feel all fuzzy around the edges.

When he does though it's right in time to see Harry come as well. He shoots white stripes of come across his abs with one hand out of the frame like he's pulling his hair or something. He's beautiful, glistening with sweat and all Niall wants to do is lick him clean. His eyes travel down Harry's body to the end of the screen and then he notices his own screen beneath and almost faints.

Harry can see his face. Niall has been so into it that he slipped all the way down and now Harry can't just see his cock still in his hand but also his whole fucking face. Niall takes in his own messy hair and red face with his mouth hanging open since he's still panting hard. Shit, that definitely wasn't the plan. But now it's done and it looks like Harry didn't mind the way he looks, not even the bit of crooked that peeks through.

He also needs just as much time as Niall to get down from his high and it fills Niall with a weird sense of pride, even though this is not the first guy who got off on him. They both clean themselves up after that and Niall doesn't bother hiding his face again, it's too late now anyway. Still, he's reluctant to write, doesn't even know what to say after revealing that much of himself. So he's relieved when Harry doesn't even bother to tuck himself back in and gets his hand on the keyboard instead.

Stranger: Holy shit Niall

Stranger: You're so fucking gorgeous I almost died

Niall can't hide his face this time and he smiles shyly, chewing on his bottom lip before he sits up properly and adjusts the webcam so harry can see him properly.

You: will you believe me when I tell you that showing my face was an accident?

Stranger: I figured. Somehow that made it even hotter, seeing you go wild when you thought I couldn't see you. It was so good, Niall

Niall swallows for the third time in ten seconds because Harry makes him want to drool all over the place, it's ridiculous. He never got that far with anyone on the internet anyway and he certainly doesn't talk, doesn't flirt. Are they flirting? He should find out.

You: Well you didn't even show me your face but it was enough to get me off, so that's a win for you. But since you're all about equality...?

He hopes he doesn't look as nervous as he feels and it takes a few more moments until Harry reads his message and processes it in his head. But then his hand moves to the screen to nudge up the webcam and Niall's heart skips a beat when he's met with a pair of green eyes. Well, Harry's body definitely matches his face with all the sharp angles and those sinfully plump lips. His hair is put up in a bun but it's all ruffled on one side which means he has been pulling at his own hair. Fuck, he's probably the hottest person Niall has ever seen and in real life he would've avoided him because he knows how to choose his battles. Harry is way out of his league and he hates how his cock already twitches with interest again.

You: what the fuck

Stranger. What??

You: how are you that beautiful??

He can see Harry laugh while he rubs one knuckle over his eye like a sleepy cat. Niall calls bullshit, there's no way he's real.

Stranger: Thanks I guess? I think the same about you though.

You: You can't just say SAME, you have to come up with your own compliments

Stranger: Ok how about that: I hooked up with strangers for over a year now but I never came so hard in my life.

Niall snorts.

You: yeah... Same :P

He already loves the way Harry smiles and laughs and it's just through a screen, what the fuck. And the thing is: Niall doesn't want to disconnect, he wants to keep talking to Harry and maybe get off with him again and he doesn't know how to say it because that's not what this place is for anyway. And then his phone vibrates next to him, reminding him that he's meeting up with Louis and Liam in two hours and he still has to shower and stuff.

"Shit," he mutters and even though Harry's typing again he has to get in first.

You: fuck, I gotta go... forgot that I'm meeting up with a few friends later and I can't meet them when I look like I've just been having the best shag of me life.

Harry raises his eyes when Niall's message pops up on the screen and his smile falls with a slight frown and then he fucking pouts. It's endearing and hot and beautiful and Niall squirms on his chair.

Stranger: Oh...

Stranger: Well that sucks

You: yeah...

They both stare at the screen, not writing anything, they're not even moving. Niall wants to ask for his number, for his dick and maybe even his hand in marriage. But that might just be the endorphins still coursing through his body. Harry chews on his own lips and then puts on a determined expression before he types again.

Stranger: Ok I'll just do the reasonable thing now and ask you for your number. Fate smiled upon us today but I'm not ready to let you go yet, love.... (you can say no of course)

Ridiculous. That's all Niall can think of and he laughs hysterically because that's exactly what he wants.

You: A+ argument, so reasonable and I feel very flattered. Pls don't turn out to be an axe murderer though that would be awkward.

He types out his number next and just hits enter before he can have second thoughts. Harry only grins in victory and leans back to pull out his phone and save his number. A few moments later he gets a message from an unknown number.

I'm not an axe murderer, cross my heart. Maybe just a hot cam boy by day and a creepy clown by night. X

Niall smiles at the screen one last time before he disconnects. Well, this was a fantastic day and he'll never tell Liam and Louis about it because he just knows they'll interrogate him for the rest of the night. No, he'll keep it to himself instead and maybe jerk off again when he's in the shower. Absolutely no one has to know about it.

That eases my mind, thx Harry. See ya soon.

You bet. X

Other stories I wrote:

 a pack of misfits

In The Stars (the dark narry demigod AU)

[jeaanmoreau]

Omgggg Jaime and brienne as Troy and Gabriella 🎃 ily and ur blog btw💜

The dark red silk of Cersei Lannister’s dress looked like blood in the candlelight. Brienne approached her, doing her best to keep her countenance as she stepped up in front of her.

Cersei gave her a smile that felt like spiders creeping up the back of her neck. “Brienne,” she greeted her, folding her hands in front of her body like a satirical version of the Virgin Mary. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Cersei,” Brienne began, looking down at the blonde, all fine dresses and elaborate hairstyles, eyes dripping poison. “I know you think you’ve done this out of spite for me, but I beg you to think about the rest of the young people who’ve been practicing for weeks for the tournament.”

The smile didn’t waver from her face, and Cersei only tilted her head to the side, as if amused by her. “The young people will have their own tournament to participate in, and their own prizes. It’s certainly more fair, don’t you think?” she asked, sweetly.

Brienne knew that this wasn’t about fairness. It wasn’t about levelling the playing field or giving everybody more chances of winning when they didn’t have to compete across all ages. This was about separating her from her brother. Despite popular opinion, Brienne wasn’t thick, or stupid, or clueless. Perhaps she wasn’t the most cunning, but she was observant enough to realise the real reason behind Tywin Lannister changing the rules for the annual tennis tournament.

“You’ve separated Tommen from Margaery Tyrell, you’ve done the same with Arya Stark and the Baratheon boy, and myself and Jaime are--”

“My brother,” Cersei interrupted her, smile fading from her face and eyes narrowing like daggers at her. “Will now be my partner, like we were meant to be. You will take a step back and realise that you are only dragging him down. Interfering with his legacy, with our family traditions, with his very core, and you’re too dumb to realise how better off he is without you.”

Clenching her teeth tightly, Brienne lifted her chin a fraction, even though Cersei was shorter than her -- she refused to be intimidated. “What Jaime chooses to do is up to him, I assure you I had no part in his decisions. Whatever problems you might have with it are between you and him,” she spoke quietly but firmly. “But you are messing with my friends, and my life, and that’s not okay with me.”

The smile was back, though it was more of a smirk now, and Cersei came up close to her. “You don’t like the fact that I won,” she hissed.

Brienne gave her an incredulous look. “What’s the prize? Jaime?” Cersei’s eyes flashed. “The cup? You have to go through all this just to get either one!?” She took a deep breath and let it out. “No, thank you, Cersei. You’re very good at a game that I don’t want to play. So, I’m done here.”

She took a step to leave before hesitating, turning back to the sneering blonde. “But you should step away from the mirror long enough to check the damage that will always be right behind you.”

Not waiting to get an answer from Cersei, Brienne turned around to leave, and noticed Jaime standing there, some feet away, his expression concerned. Lips pressed together, she turned to leave the courtyard.

Behind her, she heard Cersei snapping, “Jaime!” and when she was halfway up the stairs to the terrace felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey,” his voice was close to her ear and she stopped, turning to face him. Jaime’s eyebrows were drawn together on his forehead. “What was that about? What do you mean, you’re done here? I mean, you can’t quit.”

She let out a breath, glancing away from him because she couldn’t bear to look in his eyes right now. “Partnering up for the tournament sounded good but things change,” she told him. “The tournament is a big deal for Cersei and evidently for your future so it’s alright. Make it happen. Go be the Lannister dream team.”

Jaime stepped up on the stairs next to her into her view, not moving his hand from his shoulder. “I don’t want the Lannister dream team,” he told her urgently. “I want to play with you. I want to win with you.”

“Well, we can’t anymore, Jaime,” she looked down at him to say. “Your sister changed the rules. There’s a separate tournament for under 25s.”

“Fuck my sister!” Jaime reached down to grab her hand, tugging her to face him.

Brienne’s eyes widened at his exclamation. They were words she never expected him to say. “Fuck your sister...?”

“This isn’t about the tournament, Brienne, I could give a shit about winning a cup with my family’s name on it,” he muttered at her, his eyes not leaving hers. “I meant what I said. About training, and going on runs, and just... being together.”

They were nice words, she knew. There was a part of her that wanted to reach for his face, like she always wished she could. But he was a Lannister. The golden boy Lannister. And no matter how good his intentions were, rules were rules.

“I’m sure you did, at the time,” she responded, taking her hand back from his. “But I also meant what I said. I want to play to win. But not like this, Jaime.” Brienne took a step back, forcing herself not to mind Jaime’s expression, and swallowed. “I have to go.”

[sramister]

Yeeeeeeeeeeee so like. I gotta a pretty small group of people I chill with. and like theyre all dudes. and theyre all so FUCKIN DUMB sometimes. Like im sorry but dude... why are boys so fuckin dumb lmao. fuckin they all always gotta be so manly its a n n o y i n g. Jokingly called one gay because he was eating nuts, dude he started going o f f "I get more pussy than any of you in the fucking chat" (Probably cause im straight and the other dude is a virgin bc religion? also boy you havent been laid in months fuck outta here) "I would fucking kill any gay guy that started hitting on me" (Dont worry bud you're not that attractive. & also youre the reason people hate straights lmfao what the actual fuck you aint gotta be so violent) it was w i l d. So fragile. I can't deal with it its so funny. and if I call them out on it their like "no im very confident in my sexuality." ya oke bud. s u r e. Literally never once have I gotten angry when people thought I was lesbian? Legit just gotta be like "oh haha nah sorry, u cute tho." AND OMFG THIS IS MY FAVORITE. theyre all younger than me by a year, but they all try to act older and dad-like. they thing theyre so wise, always sending stupid ass motivational quotes that stay at home mom Karen would share on fb with a picture of minions. I told them their advice was dumb and meaningless and they got so mad. legit I said "Youre copy and pasting proverbs and mark twain quotes into the chat and they dont mean anything" so they tried to be like "god youre so negative. wtf" an im just like "ye sure bud. but what if, I just straight up know shit aint always magic and rainbows bc ive been raise in shitty situations. like sorry I didnt get to be raised by two parents who both make six figures and can give me everything ive ever wanted asap." THEY GOT MAD ASF. "Youre only a year older than us. stop acting like you know everything youre not so wise yourself." like ye son I know. thats why I dont ask people my age for legit advice. bc we're all fucking dumb. dont know s h i t. and then they were like yea sure okay whatever. N ya know, theyre too manly. they cant be wrong. so thats how shit ends. "yea sure whatever" later that day I made another joke about one of them being a hick bc thats our joke and he got mad and so I sent "Yall so easy to instigate wtf I aint even gotta try with yall." dude tries to analyze me and fuckin fails. "I think you try and instigate us to keep us from attacking you and focusing on your problems." so i sent "ya sure. you can think that but youd be wrong lmao" (Cause 1. I know my problems and I actually work to fix my shit, so I have few issues atm. 2. they dont let me talk when we're in person. straight up they can ask me something like "what happened to your mom" and Ill start to answer, and they cut me off.) OKAY AND THEN EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT SHIT STARTED OVER ME BUYING A RICE COOKER. DUDE SAID ONLY ASIANS LIKE RICE AND IM LIKE YA OKAY SURE LETS FORGET ABOUT ALL THE OTHER CULTURES THAT LIKE RICE TOO. WE LEGIT WERE EATIN SPANISH RICE THE DAY BEFORE LMAO. So like dude sent some shit like "I only like american shit" and I go "You like very little bc not a lot of american lmao." and somehow that made him go straight to beer. So for 15 minutes we argued about beer. He didn't understand that beer is not american. he kept saying "budweiser is american beer." Like ye ur right, but that doesnt make all of beer American. "We have our own brewing methods, so its american." "okay but like. that doesnt make beer american? it just means weve found another way to make it?" "all beer would taste the same if americans didnt make new things" MY DUDE ITS CALLED A RECIPE LMAO. HE COULDNT UNDERSTAND. THAT FUCKIN JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE OUR OWN METHODS AND RECIPES DOESNT MEAN BEER IS AMERICAN. YEA WE GOT AMERICAN BEER. BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE BEER AMERICAN. BEER HAS BEEN ALONG WELL BEFORE AMERICA. DUDE WAS KILLING ME. and omg I need to make a sep post about the arguement about what is and isnt american even though the shits legit written down lmao. that was i n t e n s e. Home boy left the group chat. sent me a bunch of bs "insults". oh god it was f u n n y a f. stay tuned

[miserelysia]

So I watched the Netflix Death Note adaptation...

And I did a liveblog because that’s how I cope with bad adaptations of things I love. It’s pretty long but so was the movie. Also swearing.

HERE WE GO~

- Setting: Seattle. I'd say you already failed, Netflix, but I was prepared for this. And alright, so we have a re-imagining of Deathnote. - Our hero creepily hangs out right behind cheerleader practice and does homework, awesome - also he a nerd who does other people's homework and judges them - cool - chick who smokes and gives him eyes is Mia - and Light doesn't know how to smile - well it really does seem like Ryuk CHOSE him in this version instead of just randomly throwing his Death Note down to earth - why are we all afraid of rain we're in SEATTLE - super awkward, tortured troubled nerdy white boy, gotcha - ...light are you not reading the other rules. that's kind of important. THERE ARE RULES FOR A REASON. - oh shit it's time for willem dafoe's big debue - HI FRIENDDDD - LMAO LIGHT'S SCREAM - I MEAN, RELATABLE BUT - RIDICULOUS - why didn't they just name him Larry ffs "Light" just sounds weird for an American kid - I'm gonna call him Larry - okay let's jump right to DECAPITATION LOL DAMN SON - DAAAMMMMNNNN SON - THAT IS NOT THE KIND OF HORROR I WAS LOOKING FOR IN THIS MOVIE - OMG LARRY U KILLED KENNY - way to trash the classroom Ryuk - what happened to my friendly bored shinigami - he got Americanized(TM) - LARRY YOU GOTTA READ THE WHOLE TERMS & CONDITIONS ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS FFS BOY - i mean granted we don't have the whole terms & conditions because they weren't all written out in the manga - or were they?  i never read them - bUT THEN I WASN'T THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO FUCKING DECAPITATE PEOPLE BY WRITING THEIR NAME DOWN - thank you Ryuk for giving the correct pronunciation of your name - so either Ryuk is lying about the rules of the Death Note, saying it HAS to belong to a human, orrrrrr this is another Adaptation Thing - okay well Larry definitely isn't any Light Yagami but his character is.... pretty realistic for a Troubled White Boy(TM) - just wondering how the heck Larry is gonna be smart enough to avoid detection - also is he going to take a chip and eat it - lol damn how'd you know Antony was at a dinner party, Larry? - AWWWWWW HIS DAD LOVES HIM YAY - okay Ryuk's design is..... okay - LARRY WHY R U BRINGIN IT TO SCHOOL - AND WHY ARE YOU SITTING IN THE BLEACHERS DURING GYM??? - or are you creeping on cheerleaders again boy wtf - "you saw a guy decapitated? damn that's hot" mia what's wrong with u - LMAO YEAH SURE SHOW HER THE DEATH NOTE????? - OKAY - ugggghhhh come on, anyone who TOUCHES the death note can see Ryuk not just the keeper. why change that rule???? you could have so many more amazing "HOLY SHIT AN 8 FOOT TALL DEMON?!?!?!??" scenes - "i have a death god" well i'm glad they're not trying to make everyone say "shinigami" the whole time - "you of all people want to see this" HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT CAN YOU TELL SHE'S A SOCIOPA--okay granted, she did talk about wanting to see Kenny's decapitation - "you snot-nosed little douchebag" that is.... such a tame insult for a guy who's holding a gun to a lady??? - um why was that rogue SWAT truck just driving through at top speed you can't control other people i thought??? - also why did he just fuckin EXPLODE when it hit him like a damn garbage bag damn Netflix - holy shit Mia what's your damage why are you so hype about this - lmaoooo nerdy virgin boyyyyy - no longer a virgin boyyyy - having weird sociopathic sexytimes with his weird sociopathic girlfriendddd - white boy saviour complex is go - AYYYY GOD COMPLEX IS GO - time to get busyyyyyyy KILLING PEOPLE - um did you really target EVERYONE IN A NIGHTCLUB WTF BOI SOME OF THEM WEREN'T EVIL - or are they just saying someone shot up the whole place BUT YOUR VICTIM'S ACTIONS CAN'T RESULT IN SOMEONE ELSE'S DEATH I THOUGHT??? - i do like that L is a black man - why is Watari kinda creepy - AWWWWW GOOD THEY KEPT THE CANDY OBSESSION - "you'd kill him? you'd kill him for me???" omg mia seriously WHAT IS UR DAMAGE - my precious boy L and his rainbow candies - this is all i wanted. quirky L dealing with the police - HE'S PRECIOUSSS - OOOOOHHHHHH BURNNNNNNN"CHILD WEILDING POWER HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND" - "now i'm rooting for this guy" THANK YOU RYUK, ME TOO - i'm in love i love L I'm rooting for him too - u gonna kill ur dad larry? - "i think you can tell when you're sitting across froma killer like kira" he says to his CLEARLY SOCIOPATHIC SON - mia U HAVE ISSUES WHYYYYYYYYY - r u serious - relationship issues now too - da fuq - how is mia EVEN WORSE OF A PERSON THAN LARRY - HOLY SHIT GIRL - THE ENTIRE DAMN TEAAAMMMMMM - omg larry it was MIA not ryuk - seriously are you serious are you saying it's ryuk are u FUCKING SHITTING ME NO - "just making sure you hadn't died" lmao thanks L for ur concern - "light turner is kira" okay then L, i mean i guess we had to make the conflict go fast but okay - "i don't do check, only checkmate" nice - "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MEEEEE" lmao larry you aren't light - "you're the one who flew into the sun, I'm just here to make sure you actually burn" I LOVE U, L - U NEED HIS FULL FUCKING NAME NOT JUST WATARI. FUCK YOU DID THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THIS NOT READ THE DAMN MANGA - I'M SO ANGRY THIS IS SO POINTLESS - L IS SO SAD -MY BOY - BBY - HIS FRIEND IS GONE - lmao this got overdramatic real friggin fast - r u serious MIA IS A MUCH BETTER LIGHT THAN LARRY IS - LIKE THE ORPHANAGE WOULD JUST LEAVE THEIR INFO LYING AROUND???? - AND WHY HAS L NOT REALIZED WHERE LARRY WOULD SENT WATARI IT'S SO OBVIOUS - DA FUQ IS WRONG WITH THESE CHARACTERS - why is there cell reception in that place - why did that guy kill him THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS??? - WHY DID KNOWING WATARI'S FUCKIN NOT EVEN REAL NAME WORK - AND IT WAS POINTLESS - POINTLESS LOW QUALITY BADLY RESEARCHED WRITING - Larry u fuckin idiot you don't deserve to be Light and I need the plot twist to be that the death note was actually mia's all along - "you don't get to feel superior for being a pussy" omg mia - hot damn she killed everyone - HOLY SHIT SHE GONNA KILL HIMMMMMMM - HOLY SHIT - MIA - HOLY SHIT - HOLY SHIT - "now go get my goddamn book" HOLY SHIT - I LOVE THISSSSSSS IT'S WHAT I WANTED ALL ALONG - BADASS GIRL IS A BETTER LIGHT THAN LARRY FOR REAL - L MY PRECIOUS BABY I'M SORRY - ummmmmmm larry you could just burn the page urself u know??? - car chase & foot chase nice added unnecessary drama - Y U HIT L IN THE HEAD RANDOM MAN THAT'S NOT NICE - "NOW GIVE ME MY FUCKING BOOK OKAY" HOLY SHIT MIA - LMAO HE PUT HER NAME IN - LMAO TAKIN DOWN THE WHOLE FUCKIN FERRIS WHEEL - "I TAKE IT BACK" LMAO LARRY U CAN'T - RYUK WHAT THE FUQ - LMAO AND HIS HEART IS GONNA STOP AT MIDNIGHT WHILE HE'S HOLDING HER RIGHT - SUCKS FOR YOU MIA - oh oop no she falls instead - SHE REALLY LIKED THAT BOOK I GUESS??? - BYE KIDS - oh nice image with the flowers exploding - "innocence destroyed~" or w/e guys please she was already a crazy sociopathic monster - R U SERIOUS THE ONE PAGE - THE ONE PAGE WITH HIS NAME - FALLS PERFECTLY INTO THE FLAMES - FOR REAL - WHO IS MYSTERIOUS MAN????? - great yeah just put the death note on his chest and then the nurse can find it - why'd he magically wake up from a coma - why is no one responding to his increased vitals - YEAH U KILLED UR GIRLFRIEND WAY TO GO - i mean she sorta killed herself but - oh wait nope he actually killed her - wow - so that last bit of plotting almost earned you the right to be called Light, Larry - but not quite - anD WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF ENDING IS THAT??!?!?! - I HATE OPEN ENDINGS - LARRY IS ABOUT TO DIE RIGHT - I DECIDED IT. LARRY DIES. - EXCEPT THAT MAKES L A KILLER - BUT L'S CHARACTER HAS ALREADY CHANGED DRASTICALLY SO... - YEAH, LARRY DIES - i mean the other option is that his dad's like "wtf" and locks him up forever - but then American Ryuk just gives the Death Note to someone else and now that Kira is a thing they'll think it's up to them or something??? - who knows - whatever - i'm done with this weird ass convoluted mess. - well the beginning of the credits was cute at least, with the bloopers and the fun times

Okay this wasn't a complete waste of time but they absolutely lost me as an adaptation at the point where Larry was able to control Watari wITHOUT KNOWING HIS FULL DAMN NAME I MEAN COME ON THAT'S WHY HE'S CALLED WATARI. Also constantly screaming "THERE ARE SO MANY RULES" like hey maybe you should take the time to read them Larry wtf is wrong with you. L losing it was interesting but man I miss the calm, 5-steps-ahead-of-each-other cat and mouse of the actual Death Note. I think I'm gonna go watch that now.